


Strange Bedfellows

by earthphoenix (roughknuckles)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Azkaban, Confessions, Dementors (Harry Potter) - Freeform, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Escape, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyjuice Potion, Prison, Suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-09
Updated: 2006-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:55:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2108970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roughknuckles/pseuds/earthphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of this takes place during a small window in time when both Severus Snape and Sirius Black would have been in Azkaban prison together. Can a new friendship survive such a place as Azkaban prison? Can it evolve into something more ... if given the chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius hit the floor, hard as the door to his cell was closed. He scrambled to the iron bars, "STOP! STOP! GET ... LUPIN ... REMUS LUPIN!"

The wizard guards of Azkaban prison did not concern themselves with any sort of acknowledgement of the new inmate's request, they left just as quickly as they had come, unwilling to listen to the pleas of a desperate man, especially when the true guards of Azkaban were descending once again.

Severus had always been tall and thin, and the last nine days in Azkaban had done little to help his condition. "Well well well" a smooth, dark voice drawled from across the hallway in his own cell, consumed by the darkness, not yet crawling closer to the candlelight that lit the halls, "that sounds like the Black prince to me."  
  
Sirius turned his head and glared into the dark, "Oh for fuck's sake" his voice was already ragged with grief, exhaustion and fear. "Shut your fucking mouth, Snivellus. I'll be out of here in a day."

"So friendly." Severus sneered as he dragged himself over the stone floor to the cell bars, leaning on them. Now more then ever he looked like a plant someone had forgotten to water, indeed, he had not had a drink of water since yesterday morning when it rained and water seeped down the walls where he unashamedly licked it off the stone, "And yet ... so full of hope ... a mistake" Severus taunted.

Sirius stared at him, "JesusFuckingMerlin ... I didn't think you could look any fucking worse."

Severus gave a demented smile before he turned his back on Sirius, leaning against the bars, with his head tipped back against his cage; it was the only thing keeping him upright, "Nice to know you have not forgotten how to be pleasant."

Sirius wanted to reach through and tear all of Severus's hair out. James had just _died_ , James was dead and he was supposed to be pleasant. Sirius bit down on another sudden, deranged sob and spat the words out, "Fuck you, Snivellus, fuck you."

"Hmm, you feel that Black? Feels like a cold breeze … it's them …" Severus coughed, then wheezed before he continued, "they are coming for new meat … they are coming because of you."

Sirius sneered but the cold started to frost over him, over his fingers that clutched the iron bars, over his wrists and his lips. He let go quickly and backed up, "shut up ... just shut up" _they could be passing through._

It was silent then. Severus barely breathed, in his own way, wishing that they would just pass by. But no. Two, then three dementors floated into the hall, a wave of screaming followed as they passed other cells, tearing what they could from the hearts of those they encountered.

Sirius's eyes widened, he had read of them of course but _... no, nothing's that ... terrible. They can't really be what everyone thinks ..._ He stood slowly, ready to fight.

Severus had closed his eyes, allowed himself to collapse on the floor and curl up as best he could. As he had done during his childhood, when his father was particularly nasty, Severus willed himself to leave his body, to detach from all things physical; to leave his body and not feel or think or hear or see. Empty. It was better if he was empty, there was nothing to hurt to take away from him then.   
  
The dementors hissed lustfully as a collective as they came before Sirius's cell, passing through easily. Large and black, hovering there as if to evaluate what Sirius had to offer them.

Sirius stuck his chin out, although he was shaking and cold, hands still clenched. "Three of you? Fucking cowards."  
  
The center one swooped forward and began to sample Sirius, hissing to the others after the first taste, the other two joined in, swirling around the man, drawing away any goodness, only leaving Sirius with his worst memories and pains.  
  
Sirius gasped and as the first dementor attacked him, his body felt like it was lifted almost off the ground. _James, dead, Harry screaming, Peter laughing at me ..._ He heard someone scream like an animal. He didn't know it was himself as he crumpled to the ground, panting for breath when he could get it but they came again and again, prying his mind open and ripping delicate circuitry out with half dead hands. _Regulus dead, Remus changing, Remus turning away, Moony tearing a stray dog apart, Mom screaming, shaking me, Can't sit for three days, Lucius Malfoy- dining room, over and over and over, Father's parties, ripped shirts, welts, Remus turning away, turning away for good ... My fault, I killed them, I killed them, my fault, Harry is alone, my fault, stupid stupid ..._

The screaming had become insufferable, and Severus rolled over onto his back, laughing madly, "I see trees of green … red roses too … I see 'em bloom … for me … and … for you …" The dementors stopped their attack on Sirius. They paused and then reconvened, huddled before one passed over to harass Severus, who only screamed and laughed more, "annnnd! I thinktomyself …  What a FUCKING WON-DER-FUL WORLD!"  
  
Sirius crumpled, unconscious and twitching on the stone floor. Sirius had nothing more to offer the dementors, they abandoned him and began to taunt Severus who allowed himself to fall away from consciousness. It was easier that way.

 

*                    *                    *

 

Day or night, it didn't really matter. Severus had himself propped up against the cell bars once more, head pressed as firmly against it as possible as he attempted to look down the hall, "… John … JOHN!" Severus yelled as best as he could manage, arm outstretched, reaching into the hall, "… John!"

One of the guards strolled down the hall, eating a sandwich, smelled like tuna. John came every other day. "… John … just a bite …"  
  
John smirked, "What? Of MY sandwich?"  
  
"John … just a bite."  
  
"What are you going to give me for it?" John taunted, holding himself and the sandwich just out of reach.

Sirius opened his eyes slowly, staring at what would become an almost fatally familiar ceiling. He felt cold and drained, almost unable to move. His eyes hurt, so did his back, burning like someone had injected the muscles along his spine with muggle bleach.

"The only thing I have … John … come on, you can do anything … just a bite John."  
  
"Hmm, you know I promised this girl just down the way half of it … that doesn't leave much for me …"  
  
"Only a bite John, honest."

 _John ... Remus ... Remus John Lupin._ Sirius sat up slowly, head spinning violently. He moved closer to the bars, hearing voices again. _Fuck, I'm still here, they haven't figured it out yet._

John seemed to have agreed as he undid his pants and moved over to the bars, pressing himself through while Severus painfully got onto his boney knees, muscles screaming at the strain as he began to suck John the best he could, his mouth dry, unable to produce any saliva.

Sirius focused and twitched again, _Oh fuck no ... no no no ... not that ..._ he backed away quickly curling in on himself in the corner, hands over his ears, just trying to get some quiet, some air to himself.

John thrust his hand threw the bars and grabbed Severus by the hair, tearing at it as he pushed into the man's mouth, fucking it with only some satisfaction. Severus muffled a scream, trying to do nothing more then to stay conscious so that he could have his reward. So that he could eat today.

The ugly sounds still penetrated Sirius's ears and all he could think was, _I swore I'd never do that again, I swore I'd never ..._

John lifted the limp man up by his hair making him eye level, Severus's chest just heaved as he tried to breathe in a rush, lungs burning at the effort. "Not even worth it." John glared  
  
"Just … a bite." Severus begged.

With his other hand John took a bite of his sandwich and chewed it up before spitting it in Severus face, then released him.  
  
Severus fell to the floor licking the food off his face, it was disgraceful and humiliating, but it allowed him to eat.  
  
Sirius finally unclenched a little, afraid to look up.

Somewhere down the hall John was now being entertained by a young woman, who only gave a few screams before she was silenced.  
  
Severus remained on the floor, savoring what he could. He didn't even like tuna.

Sirius crawled over, "Hey ... Snape ..."

"What?" Severus spoke sharply, prepared to point out that this was Sirius's future in a few days, maybe a week's time. _  
_

"You alright?" He leaned his head against the bars, looking over at the other man.

Severus lifted his head a little, looking over the top of his arm which served as a pillow, black hair clinging to the sides of his face and neck as if it were terrified, with good reason. "Spectacular." Severus said softly.

Sirius sighed, "What a bastard ..." He stuck his arms through the bars with a swallow.

Severus groaned a little as he pushed himself up, leaning against the wall of his cell and the bars, looking over at Sirius with extreme exhaustion, "Having fun yet?" he attempted lamely.

Sirius laughed quietly and shook his head, "This is the worst fucking hotel I've ever been to."

"Indeed." Severus gave a little sigh, the corner of his mouth turned up a little, a hint of a smile, _he laughed at my joke_ , "I think ... I've had worse company."

"Than ... John or than me? Because John is pretty charming," Sirius glared down the hall at the guard.

"It's uh … well, at least you know my name … does it sound strange that I find that comforting?" _Here when you are just a piece of meat, maybe a number, never a name, never an individual. Hardly human._

Sirius sighed, "Hey, just a sec ..." he reached across, shoving his still muscular shoulder through, "you reach too ..."

Severus blinked, _what?_ But leaning down against the floor he reached his arm out as well. Touching seemed so forbidden, let alone any sort of friendly exchange.

Their fingers strained and Sirius's fingers brushed Severus's palm for an instant.

"Heh-" Severus breathed, forehead pressed against the bars as he looked to their hands, then over to Sirius. He kept his arm out, laying across the floor like a piece of white rope, just there, ready to be taken up, put it one's pocket and taken home.  
  
Sirius smiled and did the same, able to reach and he took his hand with a smile. "There ... cheer up, Snape. You get to watch me be tortured. That's something, isn't it?"  
  
Severus shook his head, but held Sirius's hand, "Yeah … it's something" he wouldn't even wish such a thing on Black.

Sirius squeezed Severus's hand and flipped it open, tracing the lines on his palm, "Wait, I can tell your fortune ..." He stroked Severus's palm again, "Hmm ... long life line, you're a little bit bitchy, you like potions, hate quidditch, despise me and ..." he pretended to concentrate, "You'll end up in the shittiest prison known to wizarding kind, wait. Already happened. You'll escape though! You'll get so thin that you will just slide between the bars one day and walk out of here."

"Brilliant." Severus laughed a bit, then coughed, follow by a wheeze. The truth was, even if Severus did become that thin, he already barely had the strength to stand, let alone walk anywhere.

Sirius just stroked his hand soothingly. "I don't hate you really."

Severus's eyes had slowly begun to close as Sirius petted his hand, bringing a comfort the spy was not sure he had ever known, "Hmm." He looked at Sirius properly, "and despite your great foresight at palm reading … I don't despise you, either."

"Really?" he asked, quiet and genuine. "Could have fooled me."

"That's just it. When I pushed, you pushed back. I think the only thing that I was really all that bothered about was that I couldn't intimidate you."

Sirius laughed, "I actually sorta liked that about you."

Severus held Sirius's hand, palm to palm and gave a little squeeze, "Well, there you are." Severus hesitated on the word, hope brought pain, "Friends?" Everything seemed rushed, but in a place like this, so much could be lost with time, it was important to hold onto what you could, while you could.

Sirius laughed, keeping it quiet and he squeezed Severus's palm back, "Yeah, yeah. Truce." A long, oddly peaceful silence fell, "Know what?"

"Hmm?"

"This is the first time I've ever seen you wear something that's not black."

"Yes well I'm having that looked into … my personal tailor arrives on Thursday."

Sirius laughed and just held Severus's hand. "Mind if I borrow him? I hate grey."

"That's fine … though" Severus sobered, "It's been Wednesday for about a week now."

Sirius stroked his fingers a little more. "You should try a little red and gold, you know."

Severus snorted, "Colors don't suit me."

"Aww, c'mon, once before you die. You were always curious, admit it."

"I was always curious" he echoed, it was true to some degree, as he most certainly didn't follow the marauders around for his health. "… here, why don't you go out shopping and find something you think I should wear, before I die, that is."

Sirius swallowed. It felt like they were having a sleepover. "You're not going to die in here. Neither am I. Don't think that."

"Really? Well, when your rescue party comes, maybe I'll just tag along because mine consists of zero."

"Maybe we're the rescue party. I bet we can get out of here."

"Sure, if you can fly out the window. Go for it."

"Just ... think. You're smart. I'm smart. We can get out. I bet no one thought we could hold hands in Azkaban, we're doing it. Right?"

"So it would appear."

Sirius squeezed Severus's hand. Severus squeezed back  
  
"How are these bars attached?"

"Built into the stone ... except for the doors." Severus said dully, suggesting he had already examined them carefully.

"What about the hinges?"

"I haven't the strength to manage mine, I'd need more torque then my current body weight … but don't let that stop you." Severus sighed, hope kills, he couldn't let himself go there.

Sirius nodded and squeezed Severus's hand again before he let go and stood, looking at the hinges. "Snape, pull your arm in ... okay?" For some reason, Sirius didn't like the look of it across the hall. It could be snapped. He ran his fingers over the hinges, mapping them slowly in the dark.

Severus retracted his arm, curling it back over his chest and resting his hand over his shoulder, tucking half his face as he tried to stay warm suppressing another bout of coughing.  
  
Sirius caressed the bolts that attached the hinges to the embedded steel. He gripped the steel of the door, of the bars, just above and below the hinge, the most vulnerable part and put his foot against the immovable wall of steel beside the door. "One, two ..." he HEAVED at the door, wrenching it back as much as he could. The bars wouldn't bend of course, the stone didn't give, he could only hope the hinge had been weakened with age. _Remus ..._ His hands tightened around the bars, refusing to let go.

"Don't hurt yourself." Severus said quietly as he watched.

Sirius just groaned and pulled harder, not caring if he hurt himself as long as this worked. _If I don't give up, and the steel won't give up, the hinge has to_.

Severus was silent for a long time before he sat up quickly, "… you smell that?"

Sirius paused, gasping and sweating. "Smell what?" he whispered, breathless.

"A rainstorm is coming" Severus grinned privately.

Sirius just sighed, "You interrupted me for that?" Sirius closed his eyes and began to pull again.

While Sirius kept himself busy, sane, with plots and ideas of escape attempts, Severus kept himself alive, god knows why, it was still instinct. The man dragged himself over to the far wall, looking up at it where water once dripped down, hand against the stone, almost hugging it, _come on, rain._

Sirius's palms were too sweaty and he slipped, falling flat on his back in the cell. He gasped a little, shivering and covering his mouth, "Holyfuck ..."

Severus looked over, in the dark, neither man could really make out the other, "You alright?"  
  
"I ... I ..." Sirius swallowed, "deadbody. In here. With me."

Severus was quiet for a moment, "Fresh?"

Sirius was trying not to throw up, not that he had anything to throw up. "No."

"Don't think about it."

There was a moment of silence and Sirius spoke, "Wait ... I have an ... idea." He crawled to the body and there was an eerie sound of moving bones and then a SNAP.

"What are you doing?" Severus asked as the lightning came first, which helped to light the small rooms, if even for a second or two. If Severus looked bad in the dark, he looked even worse in the light.

The bones moved again and there was another, softer SNAP in the dark. Sirius stood again crossing to the door of his cell, wielding a stark, white femur. "Have a tool now ..." Sirius pulled hard on the door again and forced the femur between the small gap he'd created.

Another flash of lightning, and Severus saw, _a tool is something_. Then rain. Severus looked up at the wall, waiting. Hopeful.

Sirius grunted, working hard to make more of a gap, pulling with both athletic arms again, jaw clenched. Sirius fell back again, but caught himself before he hit the ground. "Fuck. Fuck ..."

The rain outside came in sheets and finally began to seep down the walls in small rivers. Severus turned his head up, leaning against the stone wall, opening his mouth and stretching out his tongue to funnel the dirty water down into his mouth. Severus closed his eyes and suckled the wall greedily, drinking down as much as he could manage, for as long as he could stand keeping his jaw wrenched open.

Sirius made a frustrated noise, tears starting to cloud his limited vision as he pulled at the door, shoving the bone down further and further.  
  
Severus stopped drinking when he went into another coughing fit, gasping for air. Once his fit ceased he watched Sirius's task with new eyes. "Sirius!" he said with some excitement.

Sirius stopped, whispering, "What?"

"I have an idea …" Severus pulled himself closer, against the bars to lean on as he looked over to the man who was still strong enough to follow through with it.

Sirius leaned closer, looking through the bars. "What?"

"Do you have any water in your cell?"

"I dunno ..." he started looking, touched the wall, "down the wall."

"Use the skull- get as much as you can and drench the hinges … I'll call the dementors." Yes, Severus was insane. "When they come, they will freeze the water … water expands when it is frozen, the hinges won't stand a chance and you can shatter them easily with the use of your newfound tools."

Sirius swallowed and smiled, "You're ... you're a fucking genius, Snape." He set about everything quickly, detaching the skull and funneling water into it, as much as he could, almost filling it.

"When they come … stay quiet … don't draw their attention … no matter what." Severus said as he retreated to the far end of his cell, so that when the dementors came, they'd come into the cell and not linger in the hall where they would bother Sirius.

"Are you sure? You're .... " Sirius sighed, "okay."

Severus laughed, "Easy."  
  
Sirius stood by the door with the skull full of water and paused. "Wait ... just ... hang on a second." He looked around and then pulled his shirt off, pressing it to the wall, soaking it with the cold water until it was drenched. Sirius went to the bars, "catch, soak yours too." He tossed the wet shirt to Severus.

"My …? … why?" Severus caught the shirt up and hesitated to take his own off.

"No, no, keep your shirt on!" Sirius hissed. "Use my shirt to soak _YOUR_ hinges before they come."

Severus nodded, the effort of crossing the room over and over was taking it's toll on the broken man, but he did it just the same, too stubborn to do otherwise. Severus squeezed the water into the bottom hinges, then with some effort, biting at his lip as he grunted, Severus pulled himself onto unsteady legs, one arm hooked around the bars to keep him upright while the other squeezed water into the upper hinges.

"Good ... good ... perfect. I'll get you out. Don't worry."  
  
Severus dropped the shirt before crawling back to his corner, sitting himself upright against the wall, "… ready?"

"Yeah. Quick. Go." He held the skull up, upside down, ready to pour it.

Severus laughed a little, singing madly, "I see skies of blue ... clouds of white."

Sirius swallowed and made himself think of something else.

"Bright blessed days ... dark sacred nights."

_Remus. Chocolate. His stupid cardigan._

"And I think to myself ..." The dementors came, attracted to the song, any sense of joy in this otherwise hellish place. "What. A. Wonderful. World" Severus smiled.

Sirius poured the water over the hinges, top and bottom. He went back to the wall, hiding, not watching unless he drew them in too.

The two dementors came at Severus hungrily at his continued audacity to antagonize them. The man screamed viciously, squirming about on the floor, the first night he had thrown his back out, since then it had done him little good.

Sirius had to cover his ears. _Cardigan. Cardigan. Chocolate. Remus's neck. Hands._

"Rainbows ...!" Severus still attempted, "friends shaking hands ..." The dementors were furious, the water running down the walls froze, as did Severus's hair against the side of his face. The cell was cold as hell was hot.

Sirius shivered violently, wishing he had a dry shirt, any shirt. His cell froze too and Sirius changed into Padfoot, curling into a very small ball.

Severus began to stutter, "say'n ... sss-say'n h-hh-how … ddd dd d …" the ice on the wall cracked as did the ice between the hinges. A tear began to form at the corner of Severus's eye, but that too froze, in fact, his eyes were frozen open and the man was silent and unmoving.

The dog refused to listen, shaking.

The dementors attempted to antagonize Severus further but with no reaction, it was hardly fun anymore and they drifted off effortlessly leaving the man, too cold to even shiver.

The dog stood, shaking itself off and turned into a man who ripped the other femur from the skeleton in the corner and went to his door, swinging hard at the frozen hinges. He hit the hinge and it shook, he hit it again and again and it cracked with a whimper of twisting metal. Sirius gasped and attacked the other hinge with gusto, pulling the door open the wrong way and checking the hall before he stepped out. "Sev ..." He started to smash the strong bone against the top hinge of Severus's cell.

Severus was still, looking much like a limp rag doll tossed into the corner and long forgotten by a once loving owner. The young man only looked out to the hall, unable to close his eyes, seeing everything, yet unable to do anything.

"Sev ... Sev, stay with me." The top hinge cracked and Sirius's heart soared. "One down," he whispered. Sirius smashed the bone against the bottom hinge, shouldering the weight of the leaning gate until the metal cracked and with a soft laugh he pulled the door off it's hinges and rushed in, kneeling. "Sev ... Severus ..." he touched Severus, adrenaline making him strong enough to heave the thin man over his shoulder and step out into the hall. "Wake up ... which way?"

Severus's lips were just barely parted, "cc- cccc ooold."

"We're out ... which way down the hall?"

"L … lllaaa … eft."

Sirius started to run left, fast as he could which was considerable with his fear and physique working together. Down a flight of stairs, around a corner, through an arch down another flight of stairs that seemed never to end. He heard waves. _To his left. WAVES._

One more turn, just one more. And men. With wands. All very surprised to see Sirius and his companion.  
  
Sirius didn't pause, he just RAN past them, wrenching a wand out of one's surprised hand, he turned back, eyes blazing, daring, "Accio Wands!" All of the wands flew out of the men's slack, stunned hands and into Sirius's clutch. _Always wanted to try that._ Sirius closed the door and charmed it shut, running towards the main exit with Severus. He ran, wand out, just about to the door.

Ministry and aurors were present out on the shore, bringing a new shipment of captives in, making sure names and crimes were recorded properly.

They burst out and Sirius froze. "Fuck ..."

Stunning charms hit Sirius and Severus like a flash of lightning.  
  
Which was exactly what Severus woke up to. Eyes slowly coming to focus as he found himself on the familiar stone floor, _no … he … he promised._  
  
Sirius was unconscious, on his back.

Severus rolled over and ran into a body. "Ugh!" Severus pulled back, then realized the body was still fleshy, he reached out and touched the wrist. There was a pulse, soft, but there under Sirius's chilly skin. It wasn't hard to rationalize. Two bodies were warmer then one, Severus moved closer and curled himself next to Sirius, not really caring who it was, as long as it was a body close to warmth.

Sirius sniffled and curled closer, hugging Severus. He'd been crying. "Sorry ..." he murmured, sounding defeated.

"It's … ok" Severus said softly, "It was a good first attempt." The man was oddly optimistic.

The pureblood was devastated. _I'm never getting out of here_. His grey eyes were red rimmed and unfocused as he traced letters on the stone floor.

Severus was quiet. One arm resting over Sirius's chest, holding their bodies together. For Severus, things had improved greatly. He hadn't expected to get out, he had in fact, expected to die. So it was a pleasant relief to be disappointed in that regard. Keeping his standards low meant being grateful for little triumphs such as this. Severus coughed a bit, but tried to turn his head away and not cough on Sirius.

"Remus hates me. He'll never know. I'm going to die in here."

"I think you are too stubborn for that. I know I am." Severus said dryly.

Sirius said nothing. "I didn't do it."  
  
"Hm?"

"The rat ran off. Remus thinks I killed the rat, but I didn't. He just ran away instead. The rat killed me. "

Severus frowned a little, pulling himself up onto one arm as he looked down at Sirius, the other moving to the man's hand. Holding it. "You didn't do it." Severus repeated, it wasn't a question, it was a confirmation, an affirmation. Even though he did not know what Sirius was talking about.

Sirius didn't hold Severus's hand back. He didn't answer, he just stared at the air in front of him. "James's head was open like a present."

Severus was quiet, like the dead, little better then Sirius's old cell mate. He lowered his head on the floor, still just holding Sirius by the hand, not having the skills or understanding to do much more by way of comforting the other man, but he listened to Sirius, to what he apparently needed to get off his mind.

"Lily was pressed and dried, still pretty, still whole, but James was smashed. All over the place, the yard, his face, glasses, hair, all over ..."

Even if Sirius was on the same path of insanity as Severus, the man did not seem to mind. _Not alone._ Neither of them were. And that still meant something.

"Tell him I love him. Promise."

"Promise." Severus said dumbly, uncertain as to who he was going to tell.

"He's having tea. Alone. Hating my face." Sirius buried his face against Severus's shoulder and just screamed into it as loudly as he could. It sounded like paint boiling off of a stone wall and sliding down.

Severus wrapped an arm around Sirius, holding him, as tight as his body could manage, letting Sirius rage.

Sirius just screamed and screamed, louder than his throat would let him. He didn't know what else to do. He screamed until his voice broke, until he saw stars and almost passed out from lack of breath, screamed and started slamming his wrists against the floor as though he were trying to beat his own pulse into a pulp.

Severus just closed his eyes, breathing deeply, letting the pureblood's anger pass through him, absorbed someplace in his heart where he wished he could let go. Though Severus did grab at Sirius's wrist, holding the man from hurting himself, "Sirius ..." he said, "Sirius ... Sirius" he said again and again, "BLACK!" he shouted at last, trying to get the man to stop.

Sirius shut up and fought Severus for a long moment before he sank down. Wordless.  
  
Severus looked to his cell mate, not yet letting go. _That's enough Sirius._

Sirius moved his head to lay on Severus's chest, closing his eyes. He couldn't summon tears anymore, at some point, his body had run dry. He wondered how many tears had been dropped in this prison, enough to fill a bathtub? Enough to flood the moat? Enough to drown in?

 

*                    *                    *

 

Severus had been laying quietly upon the floor when he realized quite suddenly that he did not know just _why_ it was that Sirius was with him, there, in Azkaban. He thought about asking when he perked up at the sound of voices. Sitting up the man moved over to the bars to see if he could tell what was going on. "There are men coming." Severus said to himself, he pressed his head against the bars so that he could see down the hall, "Four of them." He was anxious now.

Sirius turned his head and sat up, heart beating a little more quickly, "Who? Four? Who, can you see?" he whispered.

The men stepped out infront of another cell just down the hallway, speaking until one voice was clear over the others, "Take him."

"They've come for someone."

The inmate screamed in protest. It was like a death alarm to all the other inmates and a call to feast for the dementors. Another kiss was to be performed.

Sirius's eyes flew open and he went to the bars, horrified, but needing to look. "Who are they taking?" The screaming ran up Sirius's spine, he'd never heard anything like it before, it was like glass being driven under someone's fingernails.

"I … I can't see …" but Severus wanted to see, it was the same morbid fascination that everyone was familiar with; when you take the time to look at a dead animal on the side of the road more then you would to a live one, "looks like ... I can't ..."

Sirius's face twisted a little, the screaming hurt to listen to. He moved nearer to Severus, behind him, "Where are they taking him?"

"They are dragging him into … he's fighting them … looks like … trying to take him to the door at the end of the hall." From behind, a dementor passed through the hall, and Severus shuddered instinctively, reaching back and clinging to Sirius as the creatures passed, having other duties to attend to. Following after the four guards and their prisoner.

Sirius clung to Severus, covering him from view of the passing executioners as the prisoner still screamed and pleaded, sobbing for another chance, pleading to be hexed to death instead.

Severus curled himself under Sirius's arms, letting his hair fall and cover his face, it was a trick from his childhood. He remembered that if you looked small, fading into the background, willing yourself invisible, sometimes you could be.

Behind the closed door, the man's outcries rose, piercing the air until quite suddenly silenced as if it had been a recording suddenly shut off.

Sirius jolted at the sharp silence, as definite as a guillotine blade falling. "It's over ... it's over ..." he rocked Severus in his arms a little, back and forth.  
  
Any death was preferable to that, even ones the dark lord could imagine up. It was what prompted Severus to speak, mumble, actually, "I thh- thhink it is the sworn duty of all inmates to try to escape …" he remained defiant, no matter how terrified. "I ddd-don't think ww- wwwe should stop."

Sirius rocked him again, soothing him by stroking his back and even kissing the top of his head. He sounded solemn, "Then I won't give up until we're out. I promise."

Severus was quiet, just resting his head against Sirius's chest. The twenty-something Slytherin graduate had never thought that he would ever seek out comfort from another, least of all from a Gryffindor … but then again, he also didn't think he'd be wasting what little of his life was left to rot away in the god forsaken prison. But that's just what they were, weren't they? God forsaken.

"Are you alright now?" Sirius brushed Severus's hair a little. He sighed, "I mean relatively."

"Yes. Thank you." Severus didn't move. "You?"

Sirius nodded, not moving either, "A little. Can you do me a favor?"

"Hm?"

"Brush my hair? It's getting all tangled." _He needs a task._

"Vanity shall be your undoing." Severus teased lightly, sitting up, looking to Sirius's hair, curiously reaching out and began to comb his fingers through the ends, working his way up.

Sirius sighed and hugged his knees, "Or it could get us out of here, who knows?"

"Your hair shall set us free?" Severus smiled a little.

"Never heard of Rapunzel?"

"Let's see ... average, half an inch of growth a month ... oh yes, quite ... we'll be out in no time."

Sirius laughed quietly, "My vanity is good for morale."

Severus didn't disagree, he just petted Sirius's hair.

"Mmm, well even if I still look awful, it feels nice. Maybe you should take up as a hairdresser when we bust out."  
  
"A hairdresser?" Severus stopped suddenly, snorted a small laugh, then continued to brush his fingers through Sirius Black's, black hair. "And you? What would you do as a muggle on the outside?"

"Mmm ..." Sirius tilted his head a little as Severus stroked his hair free of tangles with his long fingers. "I dunno, actually ... what do you think?"

"Primary school teacher?" Severus smirked, it wasn't that Sirius was good with kids, it was just that he _was_ one.

Sirius snorted and looked back at Severus, "No, no, I'll be the hairdresser YOU should be the teacher!"

Severus had himself a good laugh over such a concept. His second hand moved to Sirius's shoulder, just resting there, as a friend might, just to let the other man know that he was there.

Sirius imitated Snape, "Hello class, STOP CRYING!"

"Merlin … they'd be terrified before I even say hello." Severus admitted to the sad truth.

"Class, today we are goi- stop. Stop it. Timothy, I am STRICTLY against glue up noses!" Sirius snickered wickedly and leaned back against Snape's chest with a sigh, still laughing.

Severus easily wrapped an arm down Sirius's shoulder and over his chest, smiling into Sirius's hair, the imaginary life Sirius had just made for him was a welcome distraction.

"I didn't say you could stop, did I?"

"You don't tell me what to do ... you're only the hairdresser."

Sirius laughed, "Hey, hairdressers can boss around lowly primary school teachers, Bud."

"Maybe you can be my image consultant … help me, you know … look the part."

"Well ... you have to grow it all longer and grow some sort of twistable moustache."

"Ah … going for the evil genius I see. I am flattered."

Sirius looked up at him, "Well one out of two isn't bad."

Severus arched a calculating eyebrow, even with their jokes, he couldn't brave Sirius to explain himself further and left it at that, resuming his task to brush Sirius's hair, marveling at how soft it became the longer he dedicated himself to it.

Sirius sighed, "Mmm ... really, you're sort of ... good at that."

But Severus only gave a little shrug, as he did not know how to accept compliments.

Again there was ruckus down the hall. A guard was pushing a cart and throwing something into each of the cells he passed.

Sirius's eyes opened and he swallowed, "What's ..."

"Food." Severus said quickly as the man tossed a single piece of bread into cells with many or one prisoner, regardless, it was always one piece. Many fights broke out.

Sirius stayed in front of Severus, not sure why but wanting to cover him from the view of whatever sadist was strolling by with a cart today. He sighed and looked at Severus once the man had gone.

The single piece of bread that had been dropped into their cell sat there, just at their feet like a puppy who had just wondered in and was lost, out of place. "It's yours if you want it … I'll get it next time." Severus said, trying not to care.

Sirius shook his head, "You take it, I can take another day or two."

"So can I." Severus said stubbornly.  
  
A woman in the cell across from the yelled at Sirius and Severus, "Fine! Neither of you eat it, give it here!" her arms were reaching desperately, not having stood a chance against the other inmates in her cell.

Sirius picked it up, and looked at Severus "You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Sirius ripped it in half and gave half to the woman, half to Severus.

The woman was surprised, shocked stupid as the bread was tossed across the hall and nearly hit her in the head. She ate gratefully.  
  
Severus's eyes fell to the bread in his hand which he in turn tore in half, "It's too much … you take some."

Sirius sighed and ripped it in half, handing half of that back to Severus, "You've been here longer." He ate the small piece he had slowly, sitting against the wall, looking for a moment like he was just snacking under a tree at school.

Severus gave a little sigh, in all honesty he was too tired to play this game. He tucked the second half Sirius had given him into a pocket, "I'm going to save it … for you, for later when you want it." Severus ate at his original half, letting it just sit on his tongue and dissolve into more manageable mush.

Sirius nodded, he'd tried. He sighed, looking at Severus before he walked over and sat in front of him again. "Can you scratch my back?"

"If you like." Severus sat with his back against the wall to support it before he began to move his fingers over the pureblood's back, "… tell me if it's too hard."

Sirius just sighed and smiled. "Mmm."

"You have a nice smile." Severus commented on the new fact, new to him at least, half scratching at Sirius's back, half massaging along his spine.

Sirius laughed and grinned again. "Mmm- really?" The feeling of being touched, of having something in here feel good for a moment was heavenly.

"Yes, really." Severus said softly, looking at them from the outside, an odd couple indeed. But not that odd. Between the two of them, the might just make it, at least ... make it bearable. But ... for how long? 

"Want me to rub your back?"

"No." Severus said impulsively, "No, thanks."

Sirius shrugged, "Okay." He just sighed and leaned back against Severus's hands. "Really, this is still better than being stranded on an island."

"You think? Because if I'm not mistaken, this _is_ an island."

Sirius just started laughing. He doubled over, his now glossy hair moving and catching the slight light left in the cell. His head was in his hands and his shoulders shook.

"Sirius?" Severus wasn't sure what was going on, "I'm … I'm sorry" he placed as firm a hand as he could manage on the pureblood's shoulder, "I've always been blunt … I'm sorry, I'm sorry …"

Sirius just leaned back, turning and burying his face in Severus's neck again. His high cheekbones were a little wet as he sang a strange little tune, "A three hour tour ... a three hour tour ..."

Severus rested his chin over the top of Sirius's head as he held the man securely, he breathed deep, for both of them. After a few repetitions Severus caught on to the tune of the song and hummed along.

Sirius laughed, "I'm okay, I'm okay ..." he straightened and wiped his face, leaving a black smear across his cheek.

"Yeah …" Severus put his hand against the side of Sirius's cheek sympathetically, pulling him in for another hug, he might not want it, but they needed it, both of them.

Sirius just sank into the hug, his whole body giving in. "Thank you ..." he murmured, arms around Severus tightly.  
  
Severus just closed his eyes, slightly rocking with the man in his arms, lulling himself to sleep, holding onto his plush bedtime toy.

 

*                    *                    *

 

"Sirius?" Severus was panicked, "I forgive you, alright?" Yes, he was definitely panicked. The man was holding onto the sleeping Sirius as securely as he could manage, his failing body shaking against the floor.

Sirius blinked and opened his eyes, "Wha-?"

Four men. "Here we are, prisoner 09-01-60-SS, Severus Snape. Take him."

 _They've come for me._ The words gnawed at the man's confidence, Severus was in no shape to be proud as he trembled from fear and the cold. His body was already engulfed with weariness and despair, as he whispered, "Sssirius? Promise me something, alright? Listen to me. Listen! Don't you ever give up. Not. Ever."

Sirius clung to Severus, "WAIT! NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM!" He actually stood and put Severus in a corner, standing between the guards and the trembling man, "NO."

Two of the guards stood a little dumbfounded.  
  
" _Take_ him!" the one insisted.  
  
A spell blasted the two men apart and a pair of hands grabbed at Severus, pulling at his arms, his hair.

The third held his wand on Sirius, keeping him at bay, "And this one?"  
  
"No, just the one."  
  
Severus dropped his head back on his shoulders, his only view was of the stone ceiling and the guards dragging him away, "Sirius …?" he cried pathetically.

"NO!" Sirius moved and the guard stunned him, hard. He hit the wall and gasped, "Sev!"

"SIRIUS!" Severus screamed as he was dragged, "… don't stop … don't you EVER stop!"

Sirius was left alone in his cell. "SEVERUS!" Sirius continued to rant, scream, yell as they dragged Severus away and was stunned by the guard twice more until he hit the floor, unconscious, tears on his face.  
  
Behind the closed door there were no screams, just the constant, unnerving silence.


	2. Chapter 2

A black dog was curled up in a little pocket of shadow, just outside the potions shop. He looked starved, dirty and hurt. No one looked at him as they passed, they all had enough trouble feeding themselves in this part of town.

When Severus had passed every  _Wanted: Sirius Black_  poster in Knuckturn Alley, the potions professor and Slytherin head of house found himself stopping a moment to pay homage to each picture, it did not invoke a feeling of terror, as it did to the rest of wizarding society, even for those deeply immersed in criminal activity. Severus had even pocketed one of the disturbing images, it was the only picture he had of Sirius, it reminded the man … of so … much.  
  
The dog's head lifted as Severus walked towards him, and he saw him stare at the horrifying wanted posters. He stood unsteadily, light headed, even as a dog and whimpered.

Severus walked on, closer to the potions shop when he lifted his head and saw a black dog standing before him. His first instinct was to look around, to see who was sending their attack dog ... half dead attack dog. Severus just stood dead still, frowning a little, regarding the animal. 

He stepped out, all ribs and emaciated legs, but obviously a dog of large frame and tattered black fur. He managed to make it to Severus's leg and laid down, his chin on the potions master's shoe, eyes closed.  _Please_.

Severus did not kick at the mangy dog, but did shout, "Go on … shoo, go on, get-" he looked around, "go to your master."

The dog whimpered and snuggled closer.  _PLEASE_.

Severus swallowed, animals usually didn't take to him, he squatted down, "If you bite me …" Severus moved his hand to the dog's neck, looking for a collar.

The dog immediately rolled over and put his paws up, they were all cracked and bloody, stones stuck behind his toes. His thin tail wagged a little, tiredly.

Severus unhooked the clasp on his robe and let it slip from his shoulders, instantly throwing it over the dog and scooping it up into his arms. "Lucky for you I'm in need of a guard dog."

The dog's dim eyes lit up and he squirmed until he was cradled against Severus's chest, nose against his neck.

Severus abandoned his shopping and walked back to the hotel he stayed at, as a regular lay over before the start of term. Walking in the manager looked up behind an article on Sirius Black, "Hey, no dogs allowed."  
  
"Who says I have a dog?"

"I do!" the man stood up, "What'r you think'n bringing that thing in here?"  
  
"Look, the money in my back pocket says I didn't bring any dog in and that you eat well tonight. Fair?"  
  
"Yeah … yeah sure." The man sat.  
  
The dog wagged a little, whimpering softly into Severus's ear.  _Thank you, thank you, good master._

Severus dropped a few galleons on the table for the man before adjusting the dog in his arms and walking up the stairs to his room, honestly, the better of the rooms offered in the place. After kicking the door closed Severus laid the dog out on the floor before the fireplace, sending a few sparks into it to light. Severus petted the dog a few times, "Not so bad, hmm?"

The black dog relaxed and wagged rapidly, wiggling across the floor to the fireplace. The poor animal's fur looked torn, dull, crusted with dirt and worse.

Severus left the dog by the fire, all the while talking to him as he walked into the kitchen and began to prepare food, soggy bread which would be easy to eat and filling, as well as left over chicken from the night before. "Have to get you strong. You'll like living with me, there are many cats to chase." Severus laughed, pleased with a sudden thought, "One in particular, a tabby that looks like she has glasses around her eyes." 

The dog closed his eyes for a second, breathing deeply and sighing, exhausted as he listened to Severus.

Putting the plate of food down before the resting dog, Severus knelt again, rolling up his sleeves, having nothing to hide before an animal and after transfiguring a fork into a hairbrush, began to brush the dog's matted hair, "Easy … easy … there, it's quite lovely under all this, isn't it?"  
  
The dog whimpered and groaned, wagging a little as he stretched out.

Severus summoned a wet cloth from the bathroom and began to wash the crust from the dog's face, brushing him from head to toe, though avoiding areas where their were still open wounds. "Good boy. Good, good boy. You'd tell me if someone comes right? You'll bark, right?" Severus rubbed his hand against the dog's chest, "I think a friend might come for me … might … want to kill me, and then who would look after you? Good boy."

The dog panted happily and sighed before he raised his head to address the food. Starving as he was, he just dragged the bread off of the dish and used his teeth and long nails to rip it in half, pushing one half to Severus and looking at him. Unable to wait any longer, the black dog ate his half quickly and sighed, laying down on his side.

"Good boy" Severus petted the dog's head, "You eat …" he petted down the dog's shoulder's and sides, "Jack? What do you think? A rather simple name … but, there's nothing simple about you … no, of course not … what a silly name … let's see …" Severus gave a little sigh.  
  
The black dog sighed and ate the other half quickly, too hungry to keep playing that game. He hobbled over to a stack of newspapers and pawed through them.

Severus frowned, "Stop that, come here and lay down … I'll get you a chew toy or something tomorrow."

But the animal found a paper with that terrible picture on it and dragged it over, laying beside it.  
  
"What?" Severus picked up the paper with a sigh "You want me to read to you?" Severus swallowed and unfolded the paper, "Sirius Black, escaped convict and notorious murder of …" Severus stopped reading and tossed the paper, standing, "Nothing but lies anyway" the man went into the bathroom and closed the door.  
  
The dog ran to the door, HOWLING. He ran back, picking it up and shoving it under the door.

"Jack!" Severus shouted, "stop that!" he threw the door open, "quite now!"

Large paws the size of a man's hand scratched at the paper again.

"Fucking craziest dog …" Severus mumbled, "what do you want?"  
  
His questions were answered by several forceful barks. He sighed, pacing around, frowning. Finally, the dog disappeared into the kitchen.

"Fucking nuisance" Severus turned and looked at himself in the mirror, locking his own eyes, "fucking nuisance, should be thrown back out into the street … can't even fucking help a dog let alone anyone …" Severus dropped his head, arms locked on the bathroom countertop. 

A hoarse voice called from the kitchen, "Sev ..."

Severus napped himself upright, wand in hand, "Jack!" he called for the dog, walking carefully into the bedroom, looking around. No dog. He swallowed, slowly walking to the entry into the kitchen. 

A leg, white as a bone and as thin protruded from a tear in a pair of ancient, thin grey pants. "Sev ..." it sounded more like rocks dragged over sandpaper.

"Merlin save me" Severus spoke slow, wide eyed as he walked closed to Sirius, "… Sirius?" he looked around, "you're …  _you're_  the dog?" Severus fell to his knees and took up Sirius in his arms, wand clattering to the floor, "Shhh … oh hell … Sirius, shhh, have you, you are safe, free, safe with me."  
  
Sirius as the man weighed less than he did as a dog and he just made a rattling, smoky noise in his throat when Severus grabbed him and held him. "Sev ..."

"Yes. Yes." Severus rocked the man in his arms, "Yes, it's Severus, right here. I've got you."  _Going to take care of you, going to take care of everything._

"Didn't want to ... scare you ..." Sirius whispered. Black felt like a skeleton, and his hair was now dull, tangled beyond belief and down to his waist. His grey robes had changed, not for the better either. He had a thick, almost painful looking collar around his neck with a D ring in the front, a thick leather strap ran down his fragile looking spine, rings in the back to fasten the chains of the cuffs that were clasped tightly around his tiny wrists and ankles too. The heavy leather gear and steel contrasted sharply with his almost eerily thin, ripped open grey robe that made the man look surreal, dirty skin and cruel looking tattoos showing through the dull, barely there fabric.  
  
"Shhh, shhh, it's ok Sirius … my god …" Severus wept openly into the man's hair, from grief and sorrow, "oh Sirius … there's so much … so … much … what can I do? Tell me … what can I do for you?"

"Water ..." he croaked desperately.

Severus remained on the floor, holding Sirius when he charmed a cup from the cabinet to fill itself with water and float down into his hand where he brought it up to Sirius's lips, "A little at a time."  
  
Sirius's eyes struggled to stay open and his lips dropped a little, one skeletal hand went to Severus's shoulder, clutching softly.

Slow and careful with the man in his arm, Severus helped to pour a little water into his mouth, pausing for him to swallow and breathe, then pour a little more in.

Sirius swallowed and breathed, his entire world slowed down to those two functions, swallowing the clean, heavenly water and breathing in and out. He could finally let go, he could relax. His fingers curled in Severus's robe softly, clinging, his mind reeling with aftershocks.

"I have you" Severus continued, "Right here Sirius, not going to let anything happen … just another sip, there … perfect. Now" Severus moved himself a little more under Sirius, scooping him up as he had done with the dog, "… easy, just …" Severus stood with the man in his arms, taking him back into the bedroom and laying him out, "rest Sirius … I'm right here."

Sirius whispered, opening his eyes. They were still grey, but bloodshot and rimmed in blood red, "Don't go ..."

"I won't." Severus promised. "Not ever again." He pulled himself up and onto the bed, wrapping his arms around Sirius,  _not going anywhere_.

Sirius just shuddered and clung the way he had years ago, "Thought you ... thought they, I thought they took ... you went ..."

"Me too Sirius. Me too." Severus pressed their faces together, his eyes closed tight with anger at the memory and with frustration, "It was Dumbledore. He came, he spoke for me. He …" Severus kissed the pureblood's temple, up along his forehead, "forgive me Sirius … I didn't … I couldn't save you."

Sirius fingers went to Severus's hair, touching the strands softly. He actually smiled a little and turned his head towards Severus and the unlikely reunion. "I ... gave up ..."

"Like hell you did" he clung to the man a little tighter, tears burned down Severus's face, dropping onto Sirius's frail body like a storm.

"They took you ..." he explained, "I gave up ... gave up ..." He sighed under Severus's tears and whispered, "It's raining ..."

"But you're here, aren't you … Sirius." Severus bowed his head, rubbing his face against the sleeve of his arm, "I'm sorry please, forgive me. Forgive me for leaving you."

"Missed you ..." He wrapped his arms around Severus, shaking, tremors running through his thin body.

Severus held the man to his chest, wanting to force his strength into the man to combat any fears or doubts.

"Missed you, missed you ... I went dog ... missed you." He laughed quietly and just melted, "Do me a favor? Play with my hair."

"Of course" Severus laughed as he gasped through the ache in his chest, his own hand slightly shaking as he brushed it through Sirius's hair, "God Sirius … I don't know if you'd laugh or yell, but … I'm a teacher now … like you said, just- just like you said."

Sirius just laughed dryly, "Glue up the nose already?"

"Something like that."

He swallowed and looked right into Severus's eyes, touching his face as he asked one word, one intense word, "Harry?"

"Alive." Severus said honestly, "I've done by best. He hates me, but I've done my best to help him. God, it should have been you all along …"

Sirius relaxed and sank back into the bed. He took a deep breath with closed eyes and then opened them again. "I ..."

"Lupin is alright too." Severus brought up awkwardly, remembering that Sirius used to talk about him all the time in the beginning.

There was just so much to ask, too much. Sirius nodded, "Married." he guessed.

"No, not that I am aware of."

"Meant you."

Severus found that extremely amusing, "No" he smiled a little, "no one gets close enough to Severus Snape for a handshake, let alone a marriage proposal." The irony was rubbed in as he kissed Sirius's dirty forehead.  
  
Sirius smiled a little and ran his hand over Severus's back, "Mmhmm." It was still there, the unshakable, secure feeling he had, even in prison, even in hell with Severus's arms around him.  
   
 _Good. Don't believe me._ Severus kissed his exception on the top of his head once more. "Rest Sirius. Whatever questions, whatever it is … it can wait until you rest."

"Can I rest in a bath?" Sirius laughed a little. The water had helped him focus now.

"I rather avoid a drowning … but you want to take a bath? Whatever you want Sirius, truly, just tell me and I can help make it happen."

"Oh gods, please a bath. Please." 

"Very well Sirius." Severus sat up, and without asking he scooped the man up into his arms again, carrying him to the bathroom, setting him down on the lid of the toilet. "… here, lean against the sink while I draw the water."

Sirius nodded, doing so, watching Severus. "You look better ..." He fumbled for the thousandth time with his restraints but they seemed to be locked on somehow with magic.

Severus put a stopper in the bottom of the tub, letting the hot water swirl around while he poured bath salts into it, the room swelling with steam, "I …?" Severus turned, "here, I can help with that" he moved over to Sirius and knelt on the tile floor, taking up his wrists, examining the charms set in place on the cuffs.

"I can't get them off and the one in the back is ... hard."

Severus had tried a few simple unlocking charms, nothing happened, then resorted to more crude methods, using his wand like a magical knife, he held Sirius's arm still as he cut precisely on opposite sides of the cuff until it fell to the floor dully, "One down."

Sirius breathed easily, staring at the stark white skin under the cuff. "Wow. Tan line."

Severus rubbed his hand over the skin that had not been able to breathe for the last _… for fucks sake … years, it had been years!_  And what, a few weeks had destroyed Severus that he had still been devastated for MONTHS after, still with reoccurring nightmares, now YEARS.  _Hell …_ Severus kept his head down, focused as he worked, undoing the second cuff from around Sirius's wrist.

Sirius's head rested on Severus's, black hair against black hair as he murmured, "Thank you ..." The fugitive looked at his wrists and just laughed quietly. "Do you still ... do you see it in your head?"

"And hear it … and taste it …" Severus spoke before thinking, looking up apologetically, not giving Sirius much to look forward to.

Sirius just nodded and offered his thin, girl-like ankles, "D'you mind?"

Severus curved his back, shoulders hunched forward as he took up Sirius's ankles, bracing the arch of the pureblood's foot against the top of his own thigh, again slicing away the restraints, even touching the man's feet, it was a merciful reality. 

Sirius sighed and leaned back in relief, they'd been too tight for so long. "Thank you ... ohgods ... thanks ..." He rubbed his newly exposed skin gingerly and looked at Severus, "Could you ... the neck thing is attached in the back ..." It was hard, and even scary to ask for things now, but he made himself do it. Severus didn't seem to mind.

Severus closed his eyes as he saw himself kissing Sirius's feet, but he didn't. He only nodded and stood, hooking his arm around the pureblood's long hair, gathering it up and laying it over one side of the man's shoulder while he examined the collar, "Don't move … I … don't want to cut you."

Sirius held his breath, "The leather down my back is ..." he searched for a word, "attached."  
  
"Alright Sirius … just … I'm going to go slow, if you want me to stop, you tell me … but, please … please" Severus said softly, "don't move."

"Okay ..."

Severus angled Sirius's head to one side as he sliced through the collar on one side, then helped to turn his head so that he could do the same on the other. Severus paused a moment, his hand moving down the leather strap that followed down his spine. Just as Sirius had warned, the strap seemed attached. Attached to Sirius's spine. There was a bolt in the center of the leather, dull and worn soft over the years.

He sighed, "I don't know how to get it off ..."

Severus sliced at the joint that connected the collar and the leather strap, "I don't have any extensive medical training Sirius, only a little ... I don't want to do more harm then good … does it bother you? It might be best to leave it for now." Severus touched his hand against the man's back again, "I hate to ... I hate to leave it ... but ..."

Sirius took a deep breath as the collar loosened, and murmured quickly, "Ohgods, out ... just ... out, I don't care."

"Ok … ok Sirius, shhh-" he put one hand on Sirius's shoulder to keep him still, "I'm going to do it" Severus raised a firm, steady wand hand and began to sever the bond between skin and leather before he got to the metal stud that was in the man's spine. Severus shook his head and worked around it, down the rest of Sirius's back, separating leather from skin until it all fell away except for the center bolt in the middle of his back.

Sirius breathed deeply, "Thank you .... already feels better, just ... gods I want that thing out of me ..."

Severus worried his lower lip as he examined the bolt further, "Sirius?" he asked softly, "… give me permission to hit you with a stunning spell … it's going to hurt … what I have to do is going to hurt and I don't want you to be conscious for it."

"I don't care ... really don't care, just ... please ..." Sirius's voice was rising a little, just KNOWING now, FOCUSING on the fact that the bolt was still there was starting to make him feel cagey again. "Just YANK it out."

Severus twisted his face with disgust as he focused his wand on the bolt, heating it up, numbing the skin around it before jerking his hand back, the bolt flying from where it had been embedded in the man's back, blood spraying instantly, which Severus quickly cast a cleansing spell, before stitching it up, "I'm sorry" he whispered, chanted.

Sirius cried out, clutching the top of the counter beside him, back shuddering as the bolt was yanked out.

"You're free Sirius ..." Severus said quietly, still touching the man's shoulder.

Sirius was panting, hands white knuckled on the counter's edge, forehead against the top. "Thank you ..." he gasped, still trying to catch his breath before he straightened up very slowly and looked at Severus. His grey eyes were dull with pain, "gods, thank you ... thank you thank you ..." he leaned into Severus again.

"Forgive me-" Severus put his wand down on the countertop as his took Sirius into his arms, brushing fingers against his scalp, "I will never stop being sorry, Sirius."

"S'okay, I'm okay, you're okay ..." Sirius's teeth chattered a little, nervous and cold.

Severus shook his head, _it's not ok_. "Your bath is ready."

Slowly, the pureblood caught his breath and looked up at Severus, nodding. "Okay ..." he tried to stand, leaning on the counter to be able to, every movement sent a strange, hollow but brutal pain through his body.

Severus acted like an extra pair of arms, legs, hands and feet as he helped Sirius over to the tub.

Sirius sat slowly on the edge of the deep tub and laughed a little, "One more thing, could you help with the shirt? I can't reach up ..." It was less a shirt and more just a rag so frayed it had become see-through. One bloody hole marked the spot in the middle where Sirius's back had been skewered, round and wide, like a bullet.

"I'm guessing you don't want to keep it, right?" Severus prompted as he moved his hands to Sirius's shoulder and the remaining rags of his shirt.

Sirius laughed, "No ... just ... burn it all ..."

Severus smirked a little as he easily tore the shirt off Sirius's body, peeling the second skin from his chest and arms before throwing it into the sink to be disposed of.

Sirius was reminded of the time that he'd been in Diagon Alley and glimpsed his cousin Narcissa cloistered in the Malfoy carriage, her face so bruised that she was hardly recognizable. All Sirius remembered was shoving Lucius into an alley and beating him senseless with his own cane. As the shirt came away, shadows were apparent under Sirius's ribs, dark even on his dirty skin. "Thanks."

Severus knew he was looking at a living skeleton, of course, but he didn't think of Sirius that way. He still thought of him as the man who had been able to pick him up, throw him over his shoulder and run about Azkaban prison like they were on holiday. He still thought of Sirius as the bold flying quidditch player, or the young man in the halls who never backed down. Severus didn't see anything else, he couldn't.

Sirius looked down, "I'll be okay from here, thanks." His arms were crossed over his chest self-consciously.

"Alright Sirius." Severus placed a gentle hand on Sirius's shoulder, not treating the man any differently, as he still saw the captivating rebel prince, despite what Sirius and the rest of the world saw, "If you need me" he stepped back towards the door, hand on the knob, "just call."

Sirius nodded, "Sure."

 

*                    *                    *

 

It was an hour later, and Sirius hadn't made a sound. Severus had been sitting outside of the door, waiting, sitting on his hands to keep from worrying them together.  
  
The tub started to drain, and Sirius very, very slowly climbed out. He took the soft, black housecoat on the back of the door and put it on with a sigh.  _Mygods, this is soft ... smells like him_. He walked to the sink, grateful there was no mirror, and washed his face again, scrubbing as hard as he could and then rinsing twice, finally satisfied when no filth rinsed off with it. 

"Do you have a toothbrush?" he asked, _and a fucking miracle_.

Severus kicked his heels against the underside of the bed, he had done this as a child, before his father came with his belt, a lighter, or a kitchen knife, anything really, he did it when he expected something bad to happen, "… beside the towel rack there should be a wooden stand with an aloe plant, on the shelf under it you can find a toothbrush and toothpaste …"

 _Right_ , more rummaging and fifteen minutes later, Sirius Black walked out, finally clean. "Hi ..."

Severus looked up, and gave a shy sort of smile. "Feel better?"

Sirius returned it, he had even scrubbed his lips clean. "More like a human being, yes" he walked to the bed and sat down carefully beside Severus. His long, long hair was wet and smelled like oranges or lemons, something delicious and clean.

"Can I get you anything?" Severus let his eyes wonder down Sirius, wearing his black overcoat.  _What the hell Severus. You strike instant fear into your students, you are a respected professor and head of your house, what are you doing being SHY?!_  

Sirius laid back on the bed, having to, his head had started spinning again, "Water would be ... nice."

"Of course" Severus stood up and went into the kitchen, pouring Sirius another glass of water before returning to his side, having 'trained' or rather, charmed the glass to keep refilling with water, "Here you are."

Sirius was laying against the few pillows at the top of the bed and he smiled with tired eyes, taking the glass and drinking with a shaking hand. He was so dehydrated that every drink of water just reminded him how thirsty he was. He finally, however, had his momentary fill and put the glass on the night table, "thanks," he hummed again.  _Glass of water, what a fucking amazing thing._ "You don't mind that I'm wearing your-" he looked down at the black housecoat around his thin body. It was too big, but somehow it looked right on him.

"It's fine." Severus nodded, "If you want something else … let me know."

"This is perfect, really ... love it." Sirius smiled a little. "So, primary school? Grade one?" A little smirk graced his lips.

"No … not grade one." Severus sat on the bed, laying on his side with his head propped up against his arm, "Potions, at Hogwarts."

Sirius grinned, "Not bad ... terrifying first years?"

"Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way."

Sirius smiled, laying on his side, facing Severus. "Ah, you're not so bad."

"Many student evaluations say otherwise, but they're just spoiled little brats who are used to everything being easy for them."

Sirius's eyes drifted down to their hands and he reached halfway across the space between them.

Severus smiled a little, he remembered this, and reached his hand across to touch Sirius's hand, to hold it.

"No one as ..." he held his breath and then squeezed Severus's hand softly. "No one as bratty as I am?"

"Of course not, no one could ever measure up to you Sirius" Severus only half teased, "Though your godson, as I said, gives me a right good run for my money." 

Sirius smiled brilliantly, eyes finally lighting up fully, "Oh, good. Hate to think of you having it easy." Their fingers entwined and Sirius's eyes seemed intent on memorizing Severus's face.

Severus let a long silence pass before he had to bring it up, "No Sirius, the times are delicate and complicated as ever. I'm sure you'll be up to it though, you've always been a bit more adventurous then the rest of us."

Sirius nodded slowly, eyes lowering again. "I never told you what happened ..."

"And you don't have to either. You don't owe me anything. I only learned of what happened after I was released, even then, it didn't sit right, not after being with you"

Sirius took a deep, free breath and moved closer. He didn't know how to ask, or how to just do it anymore, snuggle up to someone, let Severus hold him. "I ... can I ... I need ..."

Though reading people was second nature to Severus, he didn't have to with Sirius, it was what he wanted as well. Severus wrapped his arms around Sirius, locking against his back in a protective, rather then restrictive way. "You don't have to ask" he leaned their foreheads together. This is what the men had, this is what they had started in hell, and now that they were both free from purgatory? What now?  
  
Sirius swallowed, eyes closed. He wanted his arms around Severus too, but his back wouldn't permit it right now. He could only whisper when they were this close, "Peter ... Peter was the secret keeper."

"... the rat. Wormtail." Severus confirmed, only being slightly educated about the marauders.  
  
Sirius stiffened at the name, the nickname they'd given him. "James was going to pick me, I thought I was too ... obvious. I told him to pick Peter."  
   
It seemed strange to Severus that Sirius had not suggested Lupin, but did not bring it up. He only sat quietly, willing to listen to whatever Sirius entrusted him with.

"I-" Sirius wavered, "I went to their house, they were dead. Harry ... Ohgods, Harry was crying so loud, Hagrid had him, I knew Peter had to have talked and went after him ... He was at his house, but he ran, I chased him, we ended up with muggles and then he started screaming." Sirius coughed a little, "screaming at me not to kill him like I killed Lily and James, not to kill him and then-" He went totally quiet, "Peter blew everything up. In the smoke afterward, he cut off his own finger and I saw the bodies and I ... knew. I just ... knew there was no way out. Peter changed into a rat and went down the drain." His voice was quiet and dull, shocked after all these years. "But-" Sirius rasped, "he's alive. I saw him with a- in a newspaper on a boy's shoulder. Missing a toe. Weasley. Ron Weasley has him now. He's pretending to be a pet ... and what if he gets to ... Harry?"

Severus took a deep breath after holding it to hear Sirius's story, then slowly let it out, let out the unchangeable suffering of his own heart, the injustice that could not be undone, "Weasley" Severus said calmly, "is Harry's best friend."

Sirius started, as though he were going to move, to leave the room, to get the rat himself, now. "Harry-"

"Sirius … it's been two years, those boys have known each other, going on three … the rat has done nothing to hurt Harry, but if it truly is Pettigrew, then he might become nervous, rash …" Severus moved his hand over Sirius, petting him, calming him, "Term starts tomorrow Sirius. Come with me to school, and we'll look for that rat of yours."

Sirius sunk against Severus again, his eyes closing. He murmured, "He's just waiting for ... the right time. He's a coward ..." His hand laid on Severus's chest as he fell asleep, "Don't leave ..."

"Never Sirius." Severus covered the convict's hand with his own, "Right here."  
  
Sirius tucked his head under Severus's chin and fell asleep immediately.

Severus did not sleep, but that was not unusual. He just laid there, holding Sirius, keeping him warm, keeping him safe, keeping him close … _keeping him_.

The man whimpered softly after an hour of sleep and started to clench his fists.

"Shhh-" Severus cooed very softly, "Sirius … shhh-" he held the man a little firmer to remind him he was not alone

Sirius quieted, but started to shiver violently and his breath came a little faster.

"Tepefacio" Severus breathed, pressing a finger to the back of Sirius's neck, sending a warming sensation through his nerve system, across his thinly stretched skin.

Sirius calmed again, instantly, even moaning a little as the warmth made it's way through his body. The thin man fell into a deeper sleep, his breath came slowly, deeply and he felt heavier in Severus's arms as every muscle he had went wonderfully slack.

"… shhh … sleep Sirius …" Severus suggested to the pureblood's subconscious. As the man would do anything in his power to put Sirius at ease, taking away every hint of suffering, if it was in his ability to do so, "dream of open fields ... and clear skies ... sleep Sirius ... shhh-"

The black housecoat gaped off of Sirius's bony shoulder, revealing several rough looking runic tattoos over his skin that weren't there before.  
  
It was a moment of disturbing shock before Severus moved a light finger against Sirius's skin, tracing the ruin symbols.  _Tyr_ , that looked like an arrow pointing to Sirius's neck.  _Tyr_ , the god hung and scarified, the one who lost his arm to Fenrir. Severus swallowed, not liking the association with the Fenrir he knew. Severus traced his hands over the other markings, following their design,  _the servant_ , and  _the flesh_ … Severus stopped himself. They were all too familiar. Severus drew up the fabric and covered Sirius's shoulder once more.  
  
The pureblood didn't move at all, he was quite literally sleeping like an infant, loose-limbed and blissful. His fingers curled gently as he sighed heavily, sinking even closer to Severus as he hummed happily. Sirius's hair, washed at least six times shone a little as it started to dry, staying heavy and smooth against his back. The rebellious pureblood looked like something primitive and beautiful with his long hair, which untangled and dried reached past his elbows.

Despite the responsibilities and anxieties Severus had, he was the sort who liked to think and reflect upon things, take his time to puzzle together the bigger picture before doing anything. As he lay there with Sirius in his arms, he pondered the man's future, his own future, their future, if such a thing existed. He had many faces to the world, but the one he liked, the part of himself that didn't make him sick was the one he had with Sirius. And so he thought himself into a hole, how to best preserve it,  _them_.  
  
"Hogwarts ..." Sirius murmured softly against Severus's neck.

"Yes" Severus whispered, "Going to take you there, you'll be safe, shhh-"

"He's at Hogwarts ..."

"Yes yes Sirius … shhh-" Severus stroked his hand through Sirius's hair, petting him as he did the dog, "at Hogwarts"

Sirius turned his head and his lips rested against Severus's neck, breathing warmly, just lingering there.

"Ah" Severus whimpered a bit, feeling himself suddenly begin to burn in his own skin, face a bit flushed.  _Merlin save me. If he knew what he was doing to me, he'd kill me._  
  
Sirius just breathed there, on that spot of Severus's sallow skin, heating and moistening the flesh under his lips as his hands curled in the potions master's nightshirt.

 _Oh god, stop that_. Severus groaned a little, as he began to think of Sirius holding him when they were in Azkaban, and holding him now, grabbing him, as if he wanted something.  _He doesn't want anything from you Severus, you're just a body, it could have been anyone_. Severus's body tightened,  _Merlin, stop that Sirius._  
  
Pressing them together as his lips brushed up towards Severus's ear, Sirius's body moved closer to the increased warmth.

Severus just clamed his eyes up tightly,  _it's nothing. It's nothing. He's just tired, he's asleep. He doesn't know what he's doing. It doesn't mean anything_.

Sirius sighed and his lips pressed against Severus's skin in a kiss, hand flattening over Severus's heart.

"Oh …" Severus cried out in soft exasperation, now he was the one slightly trembling. 

Another kiss, another ...

Severus's lips parted with a small gasp, no longer able to convince himself that this was a mistake. With more courage then it took to bow before the dark lord, Severus slowly opened his eyes.  
  
Sirius's eyes were still closed as he kissed the skin against his lips, which were scrubbed soft now and pink.

Before Severus knew what he was doing, he was kissing the pureblood back.

Sirius moaned quietly, still relaxed, almost like a ragdoll as he was kissed.

Severus hummed, his fingers stiffening, unable to pet Sirius any longer as he kissed the man, his mouth soft and sweet, despite everything that he had been though, the man in his arms was lovely, even with that little hint of death and danger.

Another soft moan and Sirius woke up, his body stiffening for a moment as he opened his eyes and pulled back, confused. "What ..."

"That was lovely-" Severus began before he realized Sirius had in fact still been asleep, "Oh" his eyes fell, still pink around the ears, Severus licked at his lips, "I thought you … nevermind."

Sirius swallowed, "No ... you were kissing me ..." His voice was still a groggy murmur.

"You were kissing me first" Severus corrected, "Though, you were sleeping, I didn't … I didn't stop you, I thought you knew what you were doing."

Sirius looked at him through half open eyes, "It was ... nice."

Severus lifted his gaze, "I liked it too."

"I never thought ..." Sirius laughed quietly, "I mean you ... wow. I just kissed Snape."

Severus shifted uncomfortably,  _what does that mean?_  "So … have a nice rest?"

Sirius watched him for a moment, _I guess I was wrong about everything at school ..._  "Kiss me again."  
  
Severus didn't need asking twice. He arched his neck and pressed his lips to Sirius once more, a bit more wanting, but still sweet and soft, slow and with the kind of devoted intimacy that is shared between two men with their particular history

Sirius held his breath and let Snape kiss him.  _This was ... weird, wrong, if his younger self could see this ... fuck it_. All of that was over, all of it had been killed and what hadn't been killed needed to die. Sirius very slowly, almost shyly pressed his lips back to Severus's in a kiss.

"Is that alright?"

Sirius replied, breathlessly, "Yeah ... just ... shut up and keep ..." he kissed Severus again.

Severus groaned, his arms snaking around, strong like a python as he held onto Sirius, pressing and working their lips together, opening up a little as his eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of such divinity. 

Sirius moaned again, a little louder, "Sev ..." Severus's arms were tight, strong. It was such a turn on to feel his arms like that, and the way Severus's breath was shaking, shorter and delicate as they kissed made Sirius dizzy. He'd never considered this, even in prison, he'd finally started to see the man for who he actually was, but it was a shock, finally a pleasant shock, that Severus was not a bad kisser, not at all, not by a long shot. _Fuck, I hope I remember how ..._  Sirius kissed him back slowly, feeling lightheaded and a little self-conscious as he relearned what had once been second, or even his first nature.

"You're beautiful Sirius." Severus said quite suddenly, as he opened his eyes again, petting a hand down the length of Sirius's back, "You don't have to believe me, but I've always thought you were beautiful." The confession poured like a waterfall from the spy's mouth, "And ... I've always wanted to kiss you. The more you'd yell at me, the more I'd watch your mouth and just wanted to kiss you."

Sirius looked at him, surprised, "You were good at hiding it ..." Now he was looking at Severus's mouth.

"Yes … I suppose that's my talent." _Hiding_. Severus swallowed dryly as he drew in a slow breath, watching Sirius, "I'm sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to … it's hardly something you really needed thrust on you, I'm sure."  
  
Love and hate had been confused, Sirius realized, the shouting, the shoving and name calling and hexing, the laying awake and HATING Snape ... suddenly he understood and kissed him again, hard. It was all the same thing.

Now it was Severus's turn to be surprised, "… Mmm-" he groaned, head falling back as Sirius kissed him,  _oh god, yes._

 _Oh ... holy fuck ..._ this is why he'd wake up beside Remus from dreams of fighting Severus hand to hand, pinning him against walls and being pinned by him and feel guilty.

He very, very carefully moved closer, almost over Severus as they kissed tongue to tongue, lips stroking and locking smoothly. This is why Remus would glare at him when he went on and on about how much he hated the Slytherin, this is why sometimes when he was confronting the other boy, shoving and swearing, he'd feel himself go hard.

Severus gave a soft sigh of delight, laying out under the pureblood, letting the man who had not been in control of his own life these many years now control something, important and meaningful, for once. His hands remained light, moving up Sirius's back, then down his sides again. Severus was not one to submit, but he did, because he wanted to, because, in this instance, it was easy.  
  
Sirius moaned at the sensation of being touched, even if it was through the housecoat, and he leaned down over Severus, hands on either side of his head, still kissing him. He remembered how, his body remembered how it was that Sirius Black kissed people and his tongue stroked the roof of Snape's mouth, back down the other man's tongue, drawing it into his mouth.

Sirius seemed to sink into Severus as his chest rose and fell dramatically, "Mmm-" Severus hummed as their tongues wrapped around one another quite obscenely.  
  
Another moan, guttural, as Sirius's thighs spread a little wider and straddled Severus's hips. Heat and pressure and electricity began to pool inside of Sirius as his hips rolled a little. _Oh fuck ..._ He could feel his pulse drop between his thighs and pound there insistently as his skin burned up.

Severus blushed brilliantly with a heavy groan as Sirius rubbed himself against him, having been hard since the first whisper of a kiss against his ear.

Sirius hadn't felt desire since he'd been thrown into the prison and it had built up, leaving him raw and needy and ready enough to overcome his shame, or any worried he might have had about the changes to his body.  _Fuck that, I'm Sirius Black._  He kissed Severus again hotly, leaving no debate about exactly what he wanted as he ground himself down over Severus again, rocking slowly.

"Oh-" Severus groaned, "oh god Sirius, do you know what you are doing to me?" Of course. It was obvious. Sirius was making Severus Snape, cold hearted, malice and untouchable Severus Snape feel … good.

Sirius panted against Severus's lips and continued to rock against him in slow, primal circles. His back wouldn't allow it, but he wanted to undo Severus's shirt, his trousers, to strip him. "Undress ... " they kissed again, "want to see you."

Severus nodded his understanding, and with heavy, insecure deep breaths of his own, began to undo his shirt, arching his hips up as he untucked his shirt, unbuttoning it up the length of his chest. Severus kept his hands moving to hide how he trembled. He left his shirt open, but on before his hands moved to his pants, jerking at the belt as he pulled it off, then unzipping his pants, wiggling back on the bed, sliding out.  
  
Sirius groaned and bent down, kissing Severus's neck hungrily, feeling himself get painfully hard as Severus stripped himself. It had been years since he'd seen a body that wasn't repulsive or starved to bones and it tightened his thighs around the other man's pale hips, "Fuck ..."

"Ohh-hhh" Severus shuttered under Sirius, "Sirius" he whispered, asking for him, as he had done many nights in his sleep.

Sirius gasped and licked one of Severus's nipples, biting down firmly on the pink skin as he sucked and moved his hips back, back, so that finally the back of the robe allowed him to feel Severus's bare erection with a moan.

"Sirius …" Severus arched under the man, bringing a hand to his mouth and biting at the knuckle, closing his eyes, just feeling Sirius there, skin against skin, it was enough to send him over the edge, the spy had not been far from insanity to begin with, it wouldn't be all that difficult to get him there now.

Sirius caught Severus's hand and pulled it away, replacing it with his mouth as his other hand pulled the belt of the robe open and laid over Severus, "kiss ..."

Severus kissed the escaped rebel prince hard. He didn't mean to, it was just a focus of all his energy into one act; forgotten desires, passions, wants, needs, loves.

Sirius gasped and kissed him back feverishly, rubbing against Severus under the housecoat, stroking them together. The heat behind his hips was building, making him gasp for air over and over into the kiss, "S ... Sev ..." he moaned plaintively.

Severus held Sirius by the hand for a moment, squeezing it familiarly before directing it just under his throat where his pulse beat so fast it almost felt like it wasn't beating at all. Severus looked up to Sirius desperately, _look what you are doing to me._

This is what he'd wanted for all those years, to strip and straddle Severus Snape, to make him feel, to break that snide facade into a million pieces and feel him all sweaty and needy against his own body. "Oh gods ..." Sirius kissed the spot on Severus's throat hard, biting and sucking, licking, worshiping the racing pulse under the disheveled man.

In turn, Severus had presented an unapproachable mask to everyone as a dare. _I dare you to find the real me_. It was a task, right out of a fairy tale. If you could overcome the obstacles that Severus had set in place, if you found the man, his true self somewhere hidden in the labyrinth of his mind, then you were rewarded with absolute devotion. Not to mention bragging rights. "Oh! Sirius!" Severus tipped his head back, offering his neck, himself up for the man to devour as his last supper.

Sirius devoured him gratefully, tasting the sweat, the lust, the salt of the white throat bent back for his mouth. "Fuck Sev ... I'm going to ... ohgods ... oh ..." Tears flooded his eyes and he clutched Severus's hands.

 "…" Severus gasped as his hips arched up responsively, pressing himself against the inside of Sirius's thighs, up against the base of his shaft and heavy testicles.

Sirius cried out in a heavy, shaking voice and came against Severus's hips, his hands were squeezing Severus's as hard as he could. The orgasm was almost painful if it wasn't so overwhelmingly good, breathtaking, terrifying, and absolutely the best thing he'd ever felt.

As Sirius's hot cum began to cool and harden on his body, crusting over on his skin, Severus groaned and relaxed back into the matrices, smiling softly as if he had experienced the exact same thing too, in a way he did.

Sirius laid over Severus. his long, dark hair a mess again, panting against Severus's neck, which is how it had all begun. Another soft kiss against Severus's neck and a soft, whimpering groan from the pureblood confirmed that he was still conscious. He felt like someone had grabbed him by the shoulders and fucked him until his mind was wiped clean like a chalkboard, it was heavenly.

Severus brushed his hand behind Sirius's head, holding him to his chest, petting him soothingly. This was perfect, that was the first thought that came to mind, which seemed a little terrifying.  _What if it wasn't? What if …? No. It was perfect_. There had been nothing forced about what they had started. Nothing forced, nothing taken. No demands, no expectations. Unconditional. Perfect. Severus took another deep breath, stroking Sirius still.

"We should have-" he sighed, tracing his fingers over Severus's shoulder, "done this a long time ago ..."  _We._

"You think, we were ready then?"  _We._

Sirius hummed softly, "Probably not ... but still."

"Sirius?" Severus called for him softly, calling out as if he were already hundreds of miles away, despite laying against his chest.

"Mmm?"

"I want there to be more. I don't want this to be the end."

Sirius's lips curled against Severus's neck, "It won't be. Trust me. I'm sort of insanely loyal ..."

Severus smiled, hugging Sirius as he wrapped his arms about the man firmly once more, then added with some humor, "I've never had a dog."

Sirius laughed quietly and kissed Severus's neck again, "Bastard."


	3. Chapter 3

Sirius slept in for the first time in twelve years.

Ironically enough, so did Severus. The Slytherin professor had his arms wrapped around Sirius as he spooned the fugitive from behind, lips pressed against the back of Sirius's spine, hands spread over his thin chest.  
  
Sirius swallowed and opened his eyes only when his stomach rumbled angrily. The first sensation that washed over him as he woke up was being warm. Last night flooded his mind again and he looked down at the arms around him, almost laughing.  _Holy shit. Holy shit ... I'm in bed with Snape. I'm in bed with SNAPE and it's fantastic. I've either grown up or I'm imagining all this and actually drooling on myself in my cell_.

Severus unconsciously snuggled himself closer, his dreams were usually the same:  _Sirius … reaching … almost touch … Sirius, fingers, hands, so close ... don't go! Don't let them take me! Sirius! ..._

The pureblood closed his eyes again at the odd, comforting feeling of being held closer and he ran a hand over Severus's, hoping that his former enemy for life hadn't changed his mind about all this in his sleep.

Severus squeezed at Sirius, "… Sss … iri mmm-" his head tucked against the body as he whimpered slightly, trying to hold on, in more ways then one.

Sirius just sighed, rubbing the back of Severus's hand slowly, "Sev ..." he wasn't sure when he'd started calling Snape that, but it was better than Snape and not as long as _Sev-er-us_ , "psst ... Sev, wake up."

Severus sighed, then took a deep breath with a stretch of his legs as he blinked his eyes awake.  _Thank Merlin, still here_.

The dark haired fugitive waited anxiously for a shout, or to be shoved away, but neither came after a few seconds and Sirius turned his head back. "Hey ..."

"Morning." Severus remained relaxed, keeping his hold on the man, "Oh-" he realized that he had Sirius locked in his arms, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trap you."

Sirius cleared his throat, "Didn't mind, actually ..." he turned very slowly, minding the hole in his back and attendant aching muscles, "I probably numbed your arms, so we're even ..." There he was.  _Severus. Sev_. He didn't look like Snape, really, for now his hair was a mess, he had color in his face, and even his coal colored eyes were soft, blinking against the pillow marks on one side of his face.

Severus closed his eyes, listening to Sirius, comforted even to just have his raspy voice once more pour into his ears. "Did you sleep well enough?" he asked at first, not yet prepared for what he would do if the answer was no, if because of him, Sirius's night of freedom was still burdened with pain.

Sirius nodded and let their foreheads touch, "Feel like I just woke up out of a coma."

 

*                    *                    *

 

Sirius hadn't seen Remus in ... years. Literally years. Over a decade. The last time he'd seen the now Professor Lupin was in their former flat, a week before hell broke loose, there was shouting, accusations, questions, and tears when it was all done, when Sirius walked out.

Professor Lupin had just finished working with Harry on his patronus charm, facing his boggart in the form of a dementor, it had exhausted them both, and Remus had run out of chocolate. 

Sirius was sitting in the back of the seventh year DADA class, twisting a quill over and over in his hands ... in Oliver Wood's hands.  _Stop shaking. A seventh year has no reason to shake. You didn't._  But that was a lie. There was a reason to shake in seventh year. He was about to walk into the classroom.

Professor Lupin entered in through the side of the classroom, "Good afternoon class!" Remus wrote his name on the board, "My name is Professor Lupin, and I shall be your defense against the dark arts teacher this year. This, being your last year at Hogwrats, I hope to help you make the most of it. Now-" Remus got right to it, "it is my understanding that during your break you were informed that you will be working on a research paper for the entirety of first term, along with every day classwork. It is my job to help you in any way I can, so please feel free to ask for assistance when needed."  
  
Sirius didn't know what to do with his hands.

Remus smiled reassuringly at his class of traumatized seventh years. "Now, if you could please introduce yourselves and the subject you would like to explore, we can get started …" Remus nodded at one of the students in the front, "Miss, you first?"

The quill was snapped in half and he chucked it under his seat as he tried not to stare.  _My god, he looks so tired_.

The other students introductions sounded nonsensical, as though they were underwater, a long, long distance off.

Remus nodded in greeting to each of the students, remembering their names, faces and topics from then on, "And finally, back row?"

Sirius looked around, startled out of a pensive trance. "Oh."

Remus waited patiently, putting his hands behind his back self consciously, _staring at my scars_ , "Name? Topic?" he was looking at Oliver.

"Oliver Wood." It felt like his brain wouldn't start again. Like the motorbike on a rainy, cold day, he had to kick it and kick it, kick starting it again and again. "Um- The Grim."  _Fuck ... the Grim!? This is DADA._  "I mean ... the grim ... reality of dementors."   
  
Remus raised an eyebrow at first, then nodded with approval. "Very well, dementors it is for Mr. Wood" then noted it in his grade book, "Lucky, or maybe not so luckly- as you are all aware, Hogwarts is playing host to the dementors of Azkaban until which time one of their escaped inmates can be found." Remus was careful not to use Sirius's name, he'd be a mess if he allowed himself to think of Sirius.

Oliver nodded and looked down, wishing Wood had longer hair to hide behind.  _It'll be a definitive fucking report._  He shook his head once, hard, trying to clear it of his constant memories of the things.  
  
Professor Lupin only lectured for the first third of class, mostly an overview of what he wanted to cover with the seventh years, taking a rather diplomatic approach and asking what people might want to study that they had until then, not had the opportunity to cover.   
  
Sirius stayed quiet, head down. It was both a habit of the hellish prison and of being on the run.

The last part of class was more or less a study period. Professor Lupin began to work with the seventh years, helping to plot out an outline for their papers, and what it looks like to write a good introduction, a study skill, in Remus's opinion, the students missed at some point in their education.   
  
Sirius just jotted sown a few things on a parchment and stared at his desk, feeling sick.  
  
"Mr Wood" Remus said gently as he approached the Gryffindor, "are you quite alright?"

Sirius closed his eyes and had to force them open, "Yeah. I'm fine." He looked over in Remus's direction and smiled a little.  
  
Remus nodded, taking the young man for his word, helped to correct the spelling of a spell-quill, useless. But before Professor Lupin knew it, class was over, as one of the Hufflepuffs noted. "Oh" Remus stood, "well, very good start from all of you … next class we'll talk about research and sources."

Sirius sighed and just put his head in his hands.  _Next class_. After a long moment, he stood, picking up the book and parchment Severus had given him and stretched a little.

Remus erased the notes from the day on the front board, getting ready for his next class. His hair was the same caramel color that Sirius had been familiar with, though with a few more flecks of grey and black, shaggy, just to the base of his skull despite the fact that he had just gotten it cut for the beginning of term and his job as professor.  
  
Sirius realized he was staring.  _Well, I came to see him, didn't I?_  He shuffled closer to the desk, swearing this was some dementor induced hallucination. "R ... Professor Lupin?"

Remus turned with a little sigh, "Hm? Yes Mr. Wood?"  _He's going to ask me about my scars, what do I say?_

"I have a question, about sources."

"Yes, as I said we'll be covering that next class ... however, what is your question?"

Sirius sat down, trying not to stare too much at Remus up this close. The wrinkles, very slight, around his eyes suited him. "Well, my topic's been in the papers quite a bit lately, but I ... I think I'm more interested in how the-" he swallowed, "how they ... work, in the actual ... you know ... in there. Where they work. Do you know of any books on this? Where I can find them? Has anything ever been written that's not just ... wild speculation?" _Have you tried to find out what happened to me in there? Are you curious? Were you? Did you ever wonder if I was innocent?_

Remus sighed a bit, looking down, "Yes, let me see" every thought that passed through his head seemed to warrant a heavy breath, "there are a few autobiographies of aurors who worked in association with Azkaban prison and in proximity of the dementors. Though perhaps a more interesting source that you might want to look into is to interview those that have been in Azkaban, but later released for … whichever reasons. Ministry issued books of course describe how Azkaban is supposed to be run and the function of the dementors, but I rather you use more … accurate sources, if possible."

"Do you know of anyone who used to be in there?" He had to press his own lips together, a hysterical, unhinged laugh was bubbling up inside him.  _Guilt? Do you feel guilty? Is that why you're looking away?_

"Yes of course. But I need your honor and word as a Gryffindor that once I give you the man's name, you are not to go about spreading rumors, but to use him as a resource and nothing more."

Sirius licked his lips and blinked, "Of course. I swear." 

Remus nodded, looking to the seventh year, "Professor Snape." The name hardly rolled off the tongue kindly, but neither was it unkind, it was neutral, as it had always been.

Sirius raised his eyebrows, "Oh. I didn't know he-" Sirius nodded, "will it be a surprise to him that you've ... referred me?"

"It won't be after I speak with him tonight at dinner and inform him of the assignment." 

"During what period of time was this?"

"Uh, you mean Professor Snape's incarceration?" 

Sirius gave what he hoped was a confused pause, "Yes ... whom else would I ask about?"  _Whom. There. Be impressed._  Mr. Wood put his elbows on the desk, chin in the upturned palm of one hand.

"No … no uh, you'd have to ask him. Sometime before the downfall of … you know who." Remus not only mumbled, but stuttered. 

Oliver leaned a little closer, sounding genuinely concerned, "Gods, are you alright?"

"Mm, yes, thank you Mr. Wood. I do not mean to concern you, but as you will discover during the course of the year, I might be absent on several occasions as I am susceptible to even the most simplest of sicknesses … just, start of term and all that germs about, I'm well. Now, was there anything else I can help you with?"  
  
Sirius half smiled, a little proud of him, a little saddened. "No, that's all." He waited for another moment before he stood and grinned, "And you'll discover over the year that I take a number of severe blows to the head during the quidditch season so ... just, uh, go easy on me, will you?"

Professor Lupin nodded sympathetically, "As a Gryffindor graduate, I am looking forward to winning the quidditch cup while I teach here" he gave a little wink, "Alright, good day Mr. Wood."

It happened. Again. His knees became absolute jell-o and Oliver Wood gave the world's dumbest looking grin. "Oh ... kay." He walked into the closet and closed the door.  _FUCK. Maybe he doesn't know this is a closet yet. I can stay until he leaves and-_

Remus cleared his throat and opened the door for Oliver, not looking to the boy, knowing he must be thoroughly embarrassed. "Not to worry. A common mistake."  _Ah, I see- not staring at my scars. Staring at me. Yes, out of the closet with you._

Oliver blushed deeply and stepped out, "See? Quidditch-head. I was brilliant in first year and now look at me ... coming out of the ... closet."

Remus kept his lips together tightly, nodding, "Mmhm" he hummed.

Mr. Wood tried to walk out of the closet non-chalantly. It was impossible. "Right. See you around then ..." he grinned again and walked out.

After the young man left, Remus locked himself in his office that was just off of the classroom, sank to the floor by the door and had himself a good cry. An act which was not uncommon for the man. To keep from yelling, he would cry. A habit he had picked up when he was very young.

 

*                    *                    *

 

Ten minutes later, Sirius used the key to open Severus's chambers with a sigh.

Severus was in the bathroom, just about to undress when he herd the click of the door, storming out, one hand grasping the corners of his robe to keep it around his shoulders, the other with wand secured in his fist, the potions professor yelled at the young man in his quarters, "MR WOOD! What do you THINK you are DOING?" Severus was not used to company, nor was he used to Sirius as someone else.

Sirius just started laughing, "Well ..." he leaned against the wall with a roguish grin, "I heard that you like seventh year quidditch players and thought I'd come by and catch you having a shower ... which I have. Want some company?" He waggled his eyebrows and sauntered over.  
  
Severus wasn't having it, and blasted Oliver back against the door. "You will keep your DISTANCE Mr. Wood!" This was Severus, this is who he was with the rest of the world, student, peers or otherwise.  
  
Sirius gasped and hit the wall hard, hand going to his chest, "Sev ... fuck, it's ME!" He would have thought it impossible, but Sirius had forgotten how Severus was with people ... people that weren't him. The contrast shocked him. "YOU gave me the fucking potion! Remember? This morning?"

Severus lowered his wand, face blank, sheet white, even paler then normal, if such a thing were possible. "Sirius? Oh hell … I … I'm sorry." He swallowed dryly, "I didn't even … I'm sorry! Are you hurt?"

Sirius coughed a little and nodded, "I'm fine, just ... oww. You bugger." His lip set into a small pout and he walked over, hugging Severus.

Severus hugged Sirius firmly, every breath an apology, "I'm sorry." Though the Slytherin head of house was grateful that Sirius had come back to him at the end of the day, grateful that Sirius had come back to him at all, grateful that Sirius was hugging him now, forgiven.

"How about you change me back? No more accidental hexings ..." Sirius kissed the side of Severus's cheek and squeezed him.  
  
Severus nodded, "Yeah, here I'll get it."  
  
Sirius sighed, and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes.

Severus had disappeared into the bathroom again, but opened up a heavily bolted cabinet and returned with the antidote, "Here you are."

All he could think of was how his muscles relaxed the second he smelled Severus's clean skin, how much he regretted that the other man had walked off so quickly. Sirius opened his eyes and smiled, "Thanks ... last chance with a seventh year ..." he joked just before he swallowed the antidote and pulled a face. His hair darkened and lengthened until it was down past his elbows, not dirty anymore, glossy again. He thinned out, losing a little muscle (okay, a lot of muscle) and gaining a couple inches of height. Cheekbones sharpened and his skin paled and he was Sirius again. 

Severus waited patiently for Sirius to change back, until at last putting his hand on Sirius's shoulder, squeezing it as he smiled lightly at the familiar face, "There now … dare I even ask how your day at school was?"

Sirius just laughed and shrugged the dark school robe off, undoing his tie and undoing a couple of buttons. His chest was flat, but through the front, just above his waist, two solid rises were highlighted through the shirt, the edge of his rib cage. "It was ... school. Had defense. I had to pick a topic for a term paper and I cheated a little. Dementors." Sirius smirked sadly, "Saw Remus. He's still a good liar. Too good, too skinny, he looks so tired." He wrapped his arms around Severus and leaned into him.

Severus nodded in reluctant agreement, though hooked one arm around Sirius, hand pressed against the flat of his back, then bowing his head and kissed his shoulder, "Technically it's all cheating, since you've already graduated."

"I don't remember it. I suppose I could use a refresher course." Sirius pulled back to look at Severus, speaking the strange truth softly, "I missed you." He reached up and tucked a strand of Severus's clean hair back behind his ear.

Severus thought about that for a moment. Though, they were there, in the same school, observing the same time and space, they _weren't_ together, even though they _were_ together. One of those non-scientific paradoxes that Severus didn't understand, it was a social conundrum, and that was a huge blank page in Severus's book. The man smiled, nuzzling their faces together, "Thank you Sirius … I think … I'm getting used to having you around, like this." Which was his way of avoiding being more forward, yet the implication remained,  _I like this, us together, I want more._

Sirius considered him in that fathomless, intuitive way he had, "You're afraid I'll go back to Remus. Aren't you?"

"Yes, I am." Severus remained honest.  
  
Sirius stroked Snape's jaw with his thumb, "You know I'm not the same guy I was back then. Neither is he." He kissed Severus's cheek, dark eyelashes brushing his skin as he did so.

Indeed, they had all changed. But in a way Severus believed that of all of them, Remus did not change, it was the animal part of him, an aspect he would not bring up with Sirius, but still, to Severus, Lupin seemed the same as always. "Still … I-" he sighed, closing his eyes as Sirius kissed him, "hungry at all?"

Sirius sighed, "You're so bloody stoic. Look at me." He looked up at Severus, taking his hands. "I mean it. I was in the room with him today after class, we talked ... and I missed you." The pureblood squeezed Severus's hands and smiled a little.

Severus nodded slightly, accepting the truth, in a way, also accepting the compliment. Severus squeezed their hands together, "Thank you" he kissed Sirius's cheek, "I mean, thank you for telling me" sure he could intrude into people's minds, but for someone to relinquish truths willingly, that was much more valuable, meaningful.

Sirius sighed and cupped Severus's face with his hands, "Sev ... I think I'm in love with you."

"What?" Severus however did not pull away, but there was genuine confusion in his eyes, a rare sight indeed.

Sirius swallowed, nervous, but stuck to what he was saying. "I think I'm falling in love with you." He licked his lips and wound his arms around Severus's shoulders, hoping he wouldn't just shove Sirius away.

Severus wrapped his arms around Sirius, making himself into a form fitting blanket that covered the pureblood, hugging him, holding him. "Sirius." his heart raced and he even began to sweat a little, "no one has ever said that to me. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything ... nothing ..." He kissed Severus's cheek, closing his eyes. Sirius stroked his almost dry hair. "You don't have to worry. You really don't have to worry." He kissed his cheek again, and again, and then his lips, breathlessly.

Severus prayed to Merlin that he could find the words, but they didn't come. He didn't know how to speak them, because like any spell, he did not understand its true meaning, and therefore would be pointless to speak until he did. Severus did not know the right words, but he knew actions. He kissed Sirius deeply, hard and adoring, absolutely and wonderfully terrifyingly devoted.

Sirius moaned, surprised, and his eyebrows raised. "Mmm ..." he smiled and kissed Severus back, arms squeezing the potion's master as they kissed. Color rushed to his face and his knees actually gave out completely.

"Sirius!" Severus gasped as Sirius suddenly dropped in his arms, though recovered and holding him securely, he laughed a little, "Are you alright?"

Sirius laughed at himself, "Swooning-" he replied dryly, and hugged Severus, murmuring, "A little tired after today."

"Alright, I'll turn down the bed for you and join you in a moment, after I take a shower." And yet still Severus held onto the man in his arms.

"Turn down the bed? Why, is it loud?" Sirius smiled at him, his grey eyes were half closed, sultry with exhaustion.

Severus sighed, trying to share in Sirius's amusement, rather then be insulted. Yes, Severus Snape was formal, but he meant well. "Not loud" Severus abruptly scooped the much frailer man into his arms, and began to carry him into the bedchamber. 

Sirius yelped and laughed, "Don't I feel like a delicate little flower ..."

Severus smirked, setting Sirius down on the side of the bed, kissing the inside of his neck, before folding back the covers, giving Sirius the better of the two pillows.

Sirius smiled, "You're adorable, you know. I'm not going to break. I'm not in a delicate condition ..." He LAUGHED, "But oh GOD that'd be hilarious if I were."

Severus pursed his lips, eyes narrowing slightly, "Hmm, and just why is that funny?" he directed all the candles to go out except for the one by the bedside, a soft light for Sirius.

"Are you kidding me?" he smiled, peeling off his shirt and then his trousers under the blankets, shucking his socks off as he laid down. "That baby would come out correcting a potions textbook and then club the healers for looking at it oddly. I fear our hypothetical spawn."  
  
Severus smiled softly, sitting on the side of the bed, hand on Sirius's chest, the man just smiled, with none of that hypothetical fear Sirius spoke of. "Well, you amuse yourself with such dreams, and I am going to take a shower."

"You look a little too amused ... Sev ... I'm making my own coffee from now on. No ... freaky baby potions!" He grinned and leaned up kissing him, a long, slow, tongue winding kiss.

"Hm" Severus sighed, closing his eyes happily content, hand dropping from Sirius's chest to his hip, even though the layers of blankets.

Sirius made a low, humming noise in his throat as they kissed, and his hip arched, "Well ... you're about to shower anyway ... and I'm in this huge ... nice bed ... naked ..."

"Oh?" Severus smirked in mock innocents, "is that a suggestion, or direction Sirius Black?"

"It's an invitation, actually ..."

Severus kept one hand against Sirius's hip while the other moved up to the clasp around his neck which he had so desperately tried to hold together before when he had thought Sirius an intruder. Severus's robe fell from his shoulders, down to the floor at his feet, and yet that was just the beginning as he began to undo his vest and shirt.

Sirius moaned and helped immediately, unbuttoning Severus quickly with both hands, bending up and licking long lines up the sides of his neck.  
  
"Mmm" Severus hummed approvingly, tilting his chin up to expose his neck for the man, a rather revealing and vulnerable position in any other situation. Eagerly he eased himself out of his shirt, one bare shoulder at a time.  
  
Sirius groaned and lavished his mouth over Severus's long, bare neck, biting softly, "Sev ..."

Severus turned his lips up into a delicate smile, moving up and onto the bed properly, curling up next to Sirius, hand rubbing back up the pureblood's chest, then under the covers and across his stomach.

Sirius purred loudly at the touch, "Love your hands ..." his body arched up a little as Severus's hand stroked down his chest, his stomach, hot tingles following the path of warmed skin.

"They'll do anything you want Sirius" Severus palmed the side of Sirius's hip and thigh, wanting to touch, but also not wanting to hurt or overwhelm Sirius as he was still getting used to even some of the more everyday activities of 'normal' life.

A small, breathless sounding gasp left Sirius's lips and his head dropped back. "I ... " he just nodded,  _more, more, feels good, more_... "yeah, oh gods, yes ..."

Severus pressed the tip of his nose against Sirius's neck, nuzzling and kissing him while his hand slowly dipped between the man's legs, slow so that there was no mistake as his fingers traced over Sirius's sex, around the shaft and along the length.

A broken sound escaped from the tall, lean pureblood under Severus's body and his torso shuddered softly as Severus's hand grasped him, pulse against pulse, skin against skin. Sirius opened his eyes and looked at Severus, dark eyed and sharp featured and completely devoted. "Sev ... mmhmm ... I ... ohgods ..." it was almost overwhelming, almost too much, but not quite. "I ... I ... want ... "

"Are you sure?" Severus breathed patiently. "Don't force yourself. I won't." his head bowed as he kissed the man's shoulder, hand gently stroking him, feeling as though Sirius was already burning, like the bright star he was, in his hand.

"I'll ... I'll tell you if it's too much ..." Sirius could feel the welling of hot, tingling pressure between his thighs already and he swore the room was spinning, "I ... gods I feel like I should be ... touching you ..."

Severus nodded, one arm locked in place as he held himself just over Sirius, stroking his sex with a light squeeze every third pump of his hand. Severus shook his head and smiled a little, "Not this time, let me do this for you Sirius."

The black haired pureblood gasped slightly at every squeeze and his hand clenched a fist full of sheet underneath him as he nodded, "I'll ... make it up to you ... I can ... ohhh ..." Sirius looked up at Severus, his grey eyes burning a little brighter, almost blue.

But Severus did not do these things because he expected an equal reward to counter one good action in turn for another, he did them unconditionally, he did them with no expectations, he did them, because he wanted to, because he got just as much joy out of it as Sirius did. Being able to make someone happy rather then fearful was a gift that Severus treasured more then anything else. Severus palmed Sirius, thumbing over the head of his cock.  _Beautiful._  He thought. No matter when or where he saw Sirius, Severus still thought him beautiful.   
  
Sirius finally just gave in, relaxed, deciding that if Severus wanted to be touched, he would have let him do it.  _This is what Severus wanted, to watch me, feel me ... get ... closer, closer ..._ His toes curled tightly in the blankets and Sirius let himself look down at the way the potion's master was working his hand over the full length of his cock. "Oh ... fuck-, Sev, Severus ... that feels so ... sogood ... please, pleasemore-"

Severus dipped one knee between Sirius's legs, parting them as he knelt, straddling the man's thin leg, working his hand over the man smoothly, but tighter, almost suffocating his cock. Severus licked his lips, his own chest filling dramatically as he breathed, arching his neck down to kiss Sirius.

Hips arching up and up and up and up, Sirius was sweating now, before he claimed Severus's mouth, both arms around him, nails taunting his back, his shoulders, "Mmm!"

Severus's back contorted and bowed instantly under the threat of Sirius's nails, shoulders and back tightening, jerking Sirius off as he moaned into the pureblood's sweet tasting mouth.

The rush of hot, bright flashes before his eyes and Severus's fast, tight, skilled hands on him, the way he was arching over him pushed Sirius over the edge and he cried out, coming in waves against Severus's palm, his cock pulsing over and over. Sirius clung to him, almost scared, it was something close to scared, something very close until ...  _oh gods, that's wonderful ..._  "Oh ..." He breathed, laying back against Severus's arm, looking up at him through sweat-stung eyes.

"Mmm-" Severus hummed with erotic approval, eyes half closed as he kissed Sirius on the top of the head, kissing away the salty sweat. Not moving away, but remaining just as he was, Sirius was not a project to start, finish and walk away from, Sirius was, _Sirius. His Sirius. Possessive? Is that appropriate?_  His eyes refocused on the man under him, unspoken, the question linger,  _are you alright? Hurt? Did I go too far?_

Sirius's eyes moved up to the potions master's dark irises with a little smile. "Perfect ..." he whispered before they kissed again, unfocused, his nose bumping with Severus's and their lips aligning on the second try, but it was perfect. "My Sev ..." Sirius's palm cupped over one side of Severus's jaw as they kissed.  
  
Severus smiled into the kiss but spoke with actions, as his hand moved to Sirius's hip, caressing the high bone with the slick of his hand,  _yours._

Sirius hummed and kissed Severus again, falling asleep in mid-kiss.

 

*                    *                    *

 

After leaving Sirius to rest, Severus had taken his shower before slipping into his black silk pajama set, draw-string pants and button down shirt. Again the man slept with his arms knotted around Sirius, holding him for his own, protectively guarding the man and his dreams as Sirius had done for him so long ago.  
  
Sirius snuggled close and sighed, relaxing a little more once Severus was back in bed. "Mmm ..."

Severus's hair was splashed across his face, the only thing poking out from the blackness was his nose, like a view scope from a submarine under the infamous black lagoon. His lips were parted, drying out his lips as he breathed, heart hammering along with his dreams.

Sirius moved forward and kissed his lips, a little bit awake. He pushed the dark hair out of Severus's face, watching him through sleepy eyes.

While one arm was loosely wrapped around Sirius, hand holding onto the man's shoulder blade, his other arm was pinned under part of his own torso, fingers fisted as he tried to escape from himself. Severus's sleeve moved back, revealing a line of black ink.

Sirius frowned and took his hand, freeing the trapped arm.  
  
Severus sighed heavily, head rolling back, as if looking away even instinctively. The black that had been newly exposed shifted slightly on the man's skin, moving along the lines of his veins and muscle. 

Sirius swallowed and his eyes widened. He recognized it at once, having seen it on Regulus before he died. Nevertheless, he pushed the sleeve up, revealing the entire dark mark, staring at it.

The black brand on his arm shifted as Severus fisted his hand again. "Mm?" the Slytherin head of house groaned as he began to wake.

Sirius pulled his own hand away, the sleeve fell over it again and the pureblood swallowed. He knew Sev was a death eater, he knew it ... but ... to see that ugly mark.

Severus gave a big yawn, before turning on his side, to face Sirius, eyes just blinking open. "Hmm, since when do you get up before me?" he said still rather drowsy.

"You were all wet when you came back to bed." Sirius just smiled.

"That's what happens when one takes a shower, I am sure you are familiar with the concept." There, now he was waking up.

Sirius sighed and nodded, kissing Severus gently.

Severus kissed Sirius back softly, "Morning" he closed his eyes, just laying there in bed.

"Technically, still nighttime."

"Is it?"

"Think so. Unless you took an eight hour shower." He wrapped his arms around Severus and sighed against the side of his face.

"Hmm" Severus sighed happily, holding Sirius to him, "Are you alright? I didn't disturb you, did I?"

Sirius just held a quiet laugh in. "No. I'm alright." His hand rubbed Severus's back slowly.  _Even in bed, his back is so straight._

Severus smiled against Sirius's neck, kissing it once. He was quiet, in a way his body was 'listening' to how Sirius was treating him. He knew the man was touching him, but it didn't feel like anything, rather, the touch wasn't painful, so it made it more difficult to process. "Hmm, that's nice Sirius … you're putting me back to sleep."

Sirius couldn't help it, "I ... saw the mark."

Severus opened his eyes, focused even in the dark on Sirius, and yet felt he had no vision. Pulling himself out of the man's arms, sitting up, Severus bowed his head, chin almost to his chest, eyes down. It was almost as if it were ancient times, and Severus was offering up the back of his neck to the executioner for decapitation, "And?" he said quietly.

"Nothing ... and nothing ..." Sirius sat up and moved over to him, stroking his back. "I ... it was just a shock, that's all."

Severus looked to Sirius, nothing but honest, "I've never regretted anything any more in my life, then I do that mark and all it represents, but then and even a little now, I repay my debt to Dumbledore by spying for him, as a death eater, keeping an eye on the others."

"I know, I know ... it just reminded me of Regulus ..." He sighed and wrapped his arms around Severus, head against his back.

"I'm sorry" Severus said quietly, as he slowly moved his arms around Sirius, hugging him, but needing to be held just as much, "I'm sorry if … you are disappointed." 

"No, no." He kissed Severus's forehead, "No, I'm not. I know what you're doing, for the Order. I know you don't really think like that. I just ... I forgot about the war and all that for a bit, that's all."

Forgetting didn't seem like such a bad idea, if only it was permanent.  
  
Sirius moved over into Severus's lap, "It's just part of history, god knows I'm not unmarked either ..."

Severus cradled Sirius in his arms, a deep feeling of peace swept over him, it was humbling and it silenced the already quiet man.  _Is it possible? To be accepted, loved? Regardless of my past, present and future? Is it possible? Truly?_

Sirius kissed his neck, squeezing Severus tightly, fingers feathering over his sensitive back. "You're brave. "

"Don't feel it."

Sirius kissed Severus's neck again, "You are. You always have been."

Slim fingers began to push their way up Sirius's back, around his shoulder and thumb against the man's spine, "Sirius" he whispered, "I …" he had lost any command of the English language and just smiled softly, "thank you. For everything."

"No need to thank me," he looked at Severus with deep gray eyes and kissed his lips, "but ... mmm ... you can rub my back a little more and I'm not going to complain."

Grouping the pads of his fingers tightly together, Severus obeyed, and began to rub Sirius's back in small, methodical circles, side to side, working his way down

Sirius groaned and relaxed into Severus, humming as his head lay against the potion's master's heavy shoulders, "Fucking ... heavenly ..."

"Sirius?" Severus began, looking off unblinkingly into the darkness, deep in thought as he rubbed Sirius, "do you like being here with me?"

Sirius grinned, "You want me to fill out one of those little comment cards?" he kissed the side of Severus's neck, "Yes," he murmured, "I like being here with you very-" kiss against his ear, "very," he kissed Severus's neck harder, "much."

Severus swallowed, "Do you think that once your name is cleared" Severus was oddly optimistic, "you would consider staying with me? As …" it was a forward idea, considering how new every single day was, let alone the dynamic they were exploring together, "partners?" _a couple._

Sirius looked at him, surprised, "You mean ... officially?"

"Well-" Severus worried his lower lip before he continued, "yes. Though, I have no one to really tell … that would be your choice entirely, of course."

The pureblood raised an eyebrow, sleek and dark with a little smile, "Snape, do you mean you want to make an honest man of me?"

Severus looked down at Sirius in his arms. "Don't tease, I'm nervous enough …" though he smiled a bit, "You can be honest or as dishonest as you wish, I just want you with me."

Sirius forgot how to blink. "I ... " He blushed viciously. "You'd even ... you ... you have to be ... don't joke with me."

"Merlin … Sirius? Do you think I know how to tell a joke? I mean it Sirius. I want you to be apart of my life as long as you'll have me. I can't lose you again. Nothing has ever effected me as much as being torn away from you that night."

Sirius still didn't blink. _This definitely goes under, things I never thought would happen._  The black haired man, sweeping dark hair down to his waist, nodded.

But Severus only observed silence. He faltered, "Of course you don't have to say anything" he said quickly, "Don't feel you have to … I just … I wanted … just … it's something to think about."

"I ... " Sirius swallowed and finally blinked, "Yeah."

Closing his eyes and tucking his head, his face, into Sirius's neck, Severus nodded slightly as he held him in his arms, on his lap. He breathed deep, "I love how you smell" he confessed quite randomly. 

Sirius closed his eyes and kissed Severus's temple gently, "I ... I want to be with you, like that. Permanently."

Severus actually trembled a bit as he pulled his head back, locking his eyes with Sirius in the darkness of his basement bedchamber, "Are you certain?" Severus felt as though he were melting in his own bed, a new fire began to burn in his chest, into the pit of his stomach.

Sirius sounded almost as faint and hoarse as he had his first night out of Azkaban. But right now, dementors seemed very far away, Azkaban seemed like a bad dream. "Yes." Even their presences matched, the way they both were reduced to whispers by the prospect of happiness. This was a completely foreign feeling - content. For the moment, Sirius was content, not just content, happy - with the person he swore he'd hate for the rest of his life. Mind you, strong feelings were strong feelings and sometimes were confused.

**Author's Note:**

> co-authored. originally written for thestralskinphoenixtears


End file.
